Summer Days

Summer sometimes feels like a never ending merry-go-round to me.  I like merry-go-rounds, but it sometimes makes me dizzy.  It seems every day is filled to the brim with stuff to do, and people to see.

Once a summer, my mother-in-law asks all of her kids and their families to spend a long weekend out at the lake.  This last weekend was the only one we were all available to attend, so we packed up all the kids and headed out.  We go to the lake every Sunday afternoon along with several other cousins and aunts and uncles.  For just a few days, though, it’s just Knut’s siblings and parents and company.

Honestly, Knut normally drags me out to the lake kicking and screaming on days that are not the routine Sunday because it’s so much work to get out there, the kids rarely sleep well, which makes more work when I am out there, and when I get back, I’m backed up on laundry, weeding, harvesting and canning, and have to deal with over-indulged-sleep-deprived-water-logged-children while I attempt to catch up, which can take up to a month to do.  Knut always helps me as much as he can, but the reality is that he normally behind on his own chores when we get back and doesn’t have many hours left in the day to help out with mine.

He can draw from his own memories as a kid out at the lake and how much fun it was, and I just can’t.  There are things that I like the kids to do because I used to enjoy them so much as a kid, that Knut thinks are too much work as well.  As always, it goes both ways.

I’m a homebody.  I like to be home.  I like routine.  I hate feeling constantly behind.  I normally have an attitude problem.  Vacations are hard on moms.  There are no two ways about it.  I like having people come to my territory instead of taking my kids into someone elses’.  When I’m in someone elses’ territory, getting what my kids need is often an uphill battle.  It’s so easy at times like that to play the martyr, as I have the last few paragraphs.

(This is Knut’s brother, by the way, and one of our nieces, belonging to Knut’s sister.)

I know that it’s memories like these that my kids will treasure.  The family cannot thrive if I choose laziness.  It is a sacrifice, and I believe a worthy one.  It’s a good exercise in choosing correctly in a Mary vs. Martha moment.  Will I make a clean house a priority, or will I make memories like this a priority?  It’s so easy to say “my kids need me right now, but I’m going to do the dishes instead because that will make me feel better.  What if someone stops by and sees that my dishes aren’t done!  They’ll think I’m a bad housekeeper!”  Well, I’ve given up that illusion years ago.

Will I stress over a half a bucket of lost peas because we weren’t home?  Will I neglect giving attention to my kids’ needs in order to get unpacked as fast as possible?  Choosing happiness is really hard some days.

Choosing to put aside the vacuum and saying “people are more important than messes” is really, really hard.  Putting aside my needs and reading them a book when they’re feeling ignored, rocking them to sleep when they’re beyond tired when I have “better things to do” is really hard.  It’s a mental discipline to set aside this inner turmoil and enjoy the moments of reading to my kids, and rocking them to sleep, and having deep conversations with them on the couch.  People, grown ups as well as children, love it when other people take delight in them. 

This year, though, the heat actually helped.  It drew me into the water more, and Knut took special care to carve out some “us” time out there and took me sailing on the lake.  We were basically alone, besides the grandparents and kids stealthfully spying on us with binoculars.

We brought Lena out there for the first time.  Since it’s a shared cabin, we did not bring her inside, but I don’t think she minded one bit.  It was her first time swimming and she absolutely loved it.  We played water fetch and I’m not sure she wanted to come home.

In the end I did get some knitting and reading done, which I probably wouldn’t have had time to do at home.  It was enjoyable.  There was no denying that!  Again, it’s the mental discipline to actually enjoy those things and not think about what could be getting done.  It’s a bad habit of mine.

Knut and I were very ready to come home.  When we got home, we put the kids to bed, popped in a movie, popped up some popcorn, and just sat in each other’s arms out of pure exhaustion.  We have no regrets in going.  We are so blessed to have such a place to play.

Now it’s back to work, and I could not be more ready.  The rest of our summer is still packed, but I’ve once again come to the point where I’m ready to say “no” a lot and stay home.  Well, there are a few things that I feel I can’t say “no” to.  I still need to get the kids some swimming lessons.  My parents will soon visit (which is always a welcome relief!) and Silje still has her VBS coming up.  Then there’s a handful of girlfriends that I really want to meet up with.  But that’s it.  No more.  I’m serious this time.