A Poor Defense

Wow, did I get a flood of emails after my last post.  I had set it to publish while I was out of town at the homeschool convention, and just got caught up.  I did end up deleting a mean comment, and I’ll explain quickly to hopefully address the drama, and be able to move on.

I was not offended by the comment, but it did allow a bit of a chuckle.  The reader called me pious and petty, and worst of all, a bad grammarian.  I got a C in advanced grammar in college, so I can’t argue.  I’m a bad speller too, which was not pointed out this time.

Not only the offense of being a bad grammarian and speller, I tend to be judgmental, rely on my works too much, I have a temper, and occasionally gossip.  My pride is most often out of control, and the sin I attempt to ask forgiveness the most, which is frustratingly fruitless as I always feel so proud of myself afterward.

The commenter was not the first to comment on my mistakes in my posts.  I’ve just decided that if I expect perfection from this journal-ing I will never press the publish button.  Normally I catch 75% of them after they post.  I’ve gotten a huge pile of emails over the years correcting my mistakes, which I always appreciate.  My lack of proofing some posts are the butt of jokes in some circles of mine, and I’m fine with that.  However, those people identify themselves, and we laugh about it.  I’m a mother of 4 and will not pretend to be perfect, and feel that being nit-picky about my writing is a waste of time.  I’ve never proofread any of my written journals, nor do I correct Silje’s journal.

I would like to point out that being a bad grammarian and speller does not disqualify me from teaching my kids.  I’m qualified because God picked me to be their mother.  I’m qualified not because I have a degree or know so much, but because I’m their mother.  I don’t know a lot, which is why I do question God occasionally with His choice.  However, I’m told through Scripture that He will equip me to do what I need to do, when I’m supposed to do it.

It does a disservice to all those other mothers out there.  “Wow, I’m not perfect like Gretchen.  I must not be the mother God called me to be.”  In the back of my mind, I justify my open imperfections as reassurance to other mothers out there that we don’t need to pretend.  While there is something good about putting your best foot forward, we as humans have a terrible problem comparing ourselves.

I’m aware that what I write can often be offensive.  I’m pretty sure that the reason for that is that the gospel at its core is offensive.  If I’m to proclaim the gospel, no matter how I try not to, I will offend.  (The offensive part is where we tell everyone that we all don’t measure up and are helpless in our sin, and of course, the solution is Christ.  People tend to like to think they are good enough just the way they are, and don’t need Christ to “save” them.)  If I am living my life openly for Christ, for the purpose of proclaiming all He has done for me, than people may feel some offense because of that.  It’s just the reality.  If I do offend, let it be for Christ.  Also, if I do offend and you feel the need to tell me, let us discuss and respect in our conversation.  Believe me, it’s happened before.  After my post on homosexuality, emails flew.  I think that in the end it glorified God. 

On the claim that I’m pious, I usually would take as a compliment, like “conservative.”  A synonym to pious is “reverent” and an antonym is “profane.”  However, I detected a sneer, so I’m thinking not.  “Hypocrite” is the word the commenter was looking for.  (And this hypocrite is well aware that she just ended a sentence with a preposition.)  The accusation that I attempt to live my life for Christ is in fact a great compliment.  The fact that I’m a sinner and a Christian seems to astonish some, though.  Maybe some Christians in the past, perhaps, have claimed that they do not sin, although I know of none.  The only thing I can claim is forgiveness.  I’m forgiven, and that is the basis of my claim to Christianity, not goodness.

I looked up the word “petty” after that word was aimed at me, and it said: “having little or no significance.”  If that was aimed at my person, I may agree on you with some points on that, but again, God continues to disagree with both of us.   If you are referring to the importance of my children’s education I would disagree with you.  Whether or not they are learning and growing in the Lord is of upmost importance.  We’ll just have to agree to disagree there.

It may surprise some that this wasn’t the first comment I have ever deleted from my blog.  My reasons for deleting in the past are when someone accidentally puts on my address or something with little thought that the whole world can read it.  Or, I have deleted a comment I thought inappropriate for everyone to read, but have carried on the conversation privately through emails, which I find to be fruitful.  The main reason I have deleted the comment talked about is because leaving something like that with the tone of a sneer, and leaving it anonymously has the feeling of egging a house and running.  I’m not that great of a homemaker, but I do at least attempt to keep things clean, and that includes my blog.  It’s my little corner of the internet that I feel responsible to keep clean.

So to be clear, in the future, respectfully disagreeing posts will normally not be deleted unless it needs to go private.  However, let’s just agree that I’ll wash the “egg gunk” off my “house.”