In Theory

In theory, this is our not-so-busy season.

In theory, when the ground is frozen, Knut is home more.  In theory, we have the time to do things that were much looked forward to during planting and harvest.

The problem with theories is that they sound so logical.  I suppose Knut is home more this time of year, and we have more options as to what fills our family’s time.  Still, it seems busy all the time.  I’m trying to figure it out while we’re still trying to catch our breath some days.  Part of it, I’m sure is due to Knut’s cross country ski – training schedule for the Birkie coming up. 

Part of it is the fact that he’s been teaching a small group at church, has to prepare a Sunday school lesson each week, and is also the church treasurer and has been spending the wee hours of the morning this last month printing statements, preparing budgets, etc.  It’s just that time of year.

I have the problem too, where I seem to forget the demands an infant places on me, and say yes to too many things, or set goals for myself that may not match reality.

 This girl is getting crazy big, and so fast.  This seems faster than with the other kids.  If their time as a newborn seemed weeks, it seems only days for her.  Deep down I know, that it’s not her that’s speeding up, it seems to be life.  Where is a pause button when you need it?

During the off season, we seem to think that the impossible is possible, because Knut is home in the evenings.  We try to get so many house projects done, and we try to do all the fun things that can’t be done during the busy times.  We try to squeeze in, basically, a year worth of “living” into a winter.  It’s exhausting.

Today is the first of February, and I’m already wringing my hands at all that needs to get done before Spring comes.  Knut started work on finishing the front of the fireplace last night.  I’m sure now that he’s started, it’s only a matter of time before it’s done.  I wanted to paint the boys room, and the upstairs bathroom, but that now seems nearly impossible.  We need to visit my family down South at least once this winter, and of course, this is the month of Knut’s big ski race.

I’m hoping to finally restock Nerdy Gerdy for March, and even launch my first knitting pattern, which is now complete…sort of.  I try really hard to keep my business as a creative outlet, and not a priority that distracts from the family.  However, it seems that it’s been put on the back burner for longer than I like, and I miss the sewing.  I haven’t sat with Sassy Pfaffy since Solveig’s been born, and I long for some uninterrupted sewing time.

Solveig has started going from going to bed at midnight to going to bed at 10pm which is a start.  She’s been doing that for a week, so I finally planned on getting some things done after 10 last night, but she decided to stay up and be fussy until 1am again.

Even with the hiccups, her schedule is finally getting some traction, and is becoming predictable.  The trend is that she’s going to bed earlier every night.  She’s finally sleeping well on her own, which is not as painful a process as I anticipated since we took it pretty gradually.  Now that I’m starting to see a pattern, I’m doing my best to establish a good schedule with her, and that always makes life a little easier.  I’m sure I’ll get to spend some quality time with Sassy Pfaffy soon, and I even have a project in mind for Lady Katherine before the big Spring thaw comes.

I’m still able to blog a bit, which is one creative outlet that I haven’t had to give up on yet.  That and knitting.  Knitting is such a mobile craft.

As busy as it has been, when you’re longing for more time…for more of what you have, that has to be a reflection on how good the life is that you have.  If you’re longing for more of it, it has to be good.  I smile when I remember that I’ll have the rest of my life to sew, and the kids are only little now.  I try not to dwell on what I wish I was able to do, because when I’m finally able to do it, I may just wish that my little ones were little again, and I don’t want to spend my life wishing.  I just need enough of an outlet to keep me sane enough to enjoy it while I’m here, I think!