Almost Ann Voskamp

Some readers who have been around this blog for a few years will remember “I’m Blessed” Monday link-up that I used to host.  It never really took off like I hoped.  I wanted to have a fun link-up on my blog, and when I brainstormed, the only one that really inspired me was one where we didn’t complain, but just thought about what we were grateful for in our lives.

In fact, thankfulness was a thought that I was very passionate about exploring, especially in times of stress in my life.  Just like I’ve been on the concept of “rest” for the last year or so.  I found the idea of thankfulness to be transformative.

It turns out, there was already an enormous link-up that had been going on for years on the same topic.  It was written by another farmwife, homeschooler even, with 6 kids.  So she had one-upped me there.  I am so oblivious to so many “big name” people, that I didn’t even find out about this woman until several of my blog readers said I was just like her.  So I googled her to see if this was a compliment or not.

It turns out that she had a bigger blog, and had actually written a book on thankfulness, and it was on The New York Times Bestseller List forever.

Her name is Ann Voskamp.

Ann doesn’t know this yet, but we’re totally going to be best buds in heaven.  We are soul-sisters for sure.  If we were neighbors here on earth, our husbands would grill together, and probably debate the merits of John Deere vs. Case tractors (I see her husband is a John Deere man…), and how their wives need to learn to just get to the point without using 20,000 words.  I read her book and cried.  I tried reading it to my husband and he looked at me confused so many times that I stopped trying.  He doesn’t like poetic language that much.  I loved to just dwell on the beauty of the words like I was soaking in a hot tub.  It was lovely.

Have you ever been driving in your car, and right before you turn on your right turn signal, the car in front of you turns on his signal?  Then just before you were going to change lanes, they change lanes first.  After a few miles, when you’re just driving home, this car is matching you move for move, but in front of you?  “Quit following me in front of me!” we say.  For a long time, I felt like Ann was following me in front of me.

She had written the book that I was brainstorming and had actually outlined chapters on my own (though hers was sooooo much better).

She had the photography skills that I was working on developing.

She had the use of poetic language that I had dreamed I would grow into.

She had the connection with her readers like I was trying to build.

Even her house looked like my Pinterest idea boards.  In fact, a lot of her pictures made it to my board too.  That woman has great taste.

As I’m having my 6th child now, I feel like I’ve almost made it to Ann Voskamp status.  But now I see she’s in the process of adopting a child.  I was so close… (snap!)  Seriously, though, I love following her heart on adoption.  I’ve been receiving email updates from a Chinese orphanage for 2 years, just so I could pray for the ministry there.  Why did she have to pick China?  That was my ‘secret’ prayer spot that I hadn’t even told Knut about.

I wasn’t following her.  If I wanted to be her, I’d start using words like “orb” to describe the moon.  Well… now I might.  It’s a fun word.  I just kept matching her turn for turn for awhile, and it just felt weird.

Plus, we both have “Ann” in our names.  I’m Gretchen Anne.  Though my Anne has an ‘e.’  I one-upped her there on that one.  I have to have at least something.

Well, maybe I’m not driving directly behind her.  I’m about 10 miles (years) back in progress.  It’s tempting to want to speed up to try to drive alongside her.  I think God put a speed governor on my life, which I’m grateful for…most of the time.  But I still see her, and keep trying to convince myself that I’m focusing on God’s leading, not some other writer’s footsteps.

Because really, the world could use multiple Christ-followers.  But the world only needs one Ann Voskamp.  And being Ann Voskamp was never my goal.  I just kept seeing her in front of me, and I’m not sure what that means, besides God saying, “I can use anyone.  Even a farmwife with 6 kids who lives in the middle of nowhere.”  To me, that is the great encouragement about “knowing” her online.  (I put it in quotations because we’ve never spoken online, except in imaginary terms.)

And sometimes I wonder, what in the world is God going to do with a Gretchen Ronnevik? Perhaps it will be smaller, quieter, and less on the radar.  Sometimes I think I’d be just fine with that.  I like my quiet.  God has taught me in the last 15+ years that his calling on my life is often as simple as sharing grace to the single person he put in front of me, whether that be my 3 year old, my neighbor, or my husband.  It’s the simple act of loving the person he gave me to love, no matter how glamorous that is, and often isn’t.

As Elizabeth Elliot said, “When you don’t know what to do next, just do the thing in front of you.”

And sometimes, I see these trends among writers.  I’ve been trying to write out my thoughts on “Rest” for awhile now, and now I see all these books coming out on rest, the Sabbath, and what resting in God means and looks like.  It’s tempting to say, “I was going to write that book, though probably not as well…”

I think it goes that way in the Christian writing world.  I think that means that we are all tapped into the same Spirit, and when the Spirit brings about revival and focus in one area of our culture, we all start talking about it in our own words like crazy, and the idea starts getting repeated from hundreds of mouths. Then all the voices get louder, and people start to listen.  I think we underestimate the power of numbers.

Being a Christian writer, it’s tough when you want to feel “special” or “different” or stand out in some way with your fresh ideas…and you realize that all your ideas are a couple of thousand years old already.

But truly, we all end up (or should end up) back to the basics of the gospel and how Jesus paid it all.  As a writer, it feels so redundant, so unimaginative, so copy-cat.  We each have our voice, but the message is just the same again, and again, and again.

And I’m learning, that doesn’t seem to bother God at all.  To him, it’s like looking at a field of mass daisies or tulips.  Each one is different, but the unity of their message is just striking.  I’m not actually following my “buddy” Ann.  We just happen to be traveling on the same road.