Oh, sweet Ingrid. She is so rarely alone. She’s working so hard these days to roll over, but it’s very rare that she actually gets some alone time on the floor to practice.
She’s like a magnet, and Solveig can sense when she might need a friend to come and smother her. Just like the kids can sense when I’m eating and they are not.
Usually moms talk about how each child is different, and how they cannot believe there is another one that is still different. Ingrid definitely has her own look and features. Her smile is simply put: amazing. She smiles with her whole body, and she’s really into squealing loud these days.
I can’t help but thinking, though, how alike these two little girls are. They are more alike than any other two in the family. They are both so happy all the time. I can’t explain it fully, but even when Solveig is whining, she has to smile when she does it. Ingrid is like that too, although she doesn’t know how to whine yet, thank goodness. Both of them are beacons of smiles and sunshine pretty much all the time.
I ask myself why this is. Is it because they were both born with a cheerful disposition? Is it because we have relaxed as parents, and don’t have the stress of “they must roll over by this date!” “We must start solid food today!” “I see that milestone and we’re going to beat it!” This age isn’t foreign to us anymore. This is our 5th time around the baby scene. Are we just more comfortable, and they sense it?
Or is it they are always enjoyed? Many hands make light work, and I remember sometimes just putting the baby down to get a break even though he was crying. I just needed my arms to myself. I would look into a baby’s eyes and plead with them to just go to sleep! Now it seems there is a continual line around Ingrid of people wanting to hold her or play with her. I have to stand in line like the rest, although I often have a ticket to the front of the line as I hold her food source.
Ingrid enjoys her siblings so much. The only time she is really crabby is those times when they all get put to bed and she is still awake. You see her looking around for all of her friends. I’m learning that she settles down a little when we go over to the mirror. Ah, there’s another baby. All is well.
The other day, Elias had swimming lessons, and Knut took the older 2 to a basketball game, so I brought Elias and his 2 little sisters to the swimming lesson. I cannot even tell you how hard that was–having only 3 little ones. Carrying a baby carseat, and trying to hold hands for both Elias and Solveig, and getting them to stay put or come quickly or really anything…it felt odd being just 3.
Just 3 meant I had no help. I don’t mean to say that I have my older kids do all the work. It’s just they are the friends. The older ones gladly grab the hand of a little one in a parking lot. That is no work. That is friendship in their minds. I can bring a few books and a big sibling and little sibling will cuddle up and read together. That is not work either. It is friendship. Without their friends, the little ones had to rely on me completely, and it weighed on me. I was trying to be all things to all of them, and make sure they were staying on track, and being where they were supposed to, and had someone to point and name something.
I’m just saying, for all you moms out there with little ones, but no big ones…that’s its own set of hard. I think “large” families like us have a set of problems of things that are hard, but families with one child have their own set of hard things as well. As kids get older, there are new fun things, and new hard things.
So to my friends: be encouraged. Do not compare yourself to another family. They have their own set of hard. They have their own joys. Neither pity me for having so many kids, nor put me on a pedestal. It’s just us. Plain and simple.
I didn’t mean to go into all that. I just wanted to share these cute pictures of Solveig and Ingrid, and talk about how happy they always are, and how happy that made me. Then I was thinking about that mama who might be reading this, and how her baby cries for 4 hours every night, or her toddler is screaming at every turn. I don’t want to discourage any with this post. I’ve had that baby who screamed for 4 hours every night too. This too, will pass. If I have any advice to give, it’s enjoy every second. When your kids sense that you enjoy time with them, instead of avoid time with them, so many things change. At least it was that way for me. When I give in to the stress, and push through and decide to enjoy them, instead of wait to enjoy them…things start to change. And if they don’t change right away, well they will soon. It’s just the nature of growing up. Constant change and growth.
Mom says
April 16, 2013 at 2:27 pmSo true! I know Christine had several “mothers” in our family growing up. Older kids do make things easier, especially if they are well trained, and have habits of giving and sharing. It’s a family working together! You and Knut area doing a great job. 🙂
Katharine says
April 16, 2013 at 4:20 pmWe had just the baby (15 months) a few weeks ago as the others were at a sleepover and it was hard. I had forgotten how to play clown to a toddler the way I had to with the first two. Having siblings really does change my role. So many mothers here and so much fun for the little ones. The oldest in our family really lives it too. She loves the special place she hold for this little guy. He comes to her when he falls and takes her hand when we walk. So so lovely for this Mama to see.
Jennie says
April 16, 2013 at 10:38 pmThank you so much for sharing that! It’s exactly what I needed to read today. 🙂
Sonya says
April 17, 2013 at 1:47 amWhat a lovely post. We have just one so far (but soon to be two), and it was very nice to read a perspective from a bit further down the road.
Also, your two littlest girls are adorable together!