So, funny story…
So you thought homemade yogurt was addicting. I guess that’s not all we’re doing homemade.
Did you know that vanilla extract, as well as other extracts are made primarily out of alcohol? True story. I didn’t know that. I mean, I’m pretty sure I knew they contained alcohol. It didn’t occur to me that they were alcohol. Guess the ingredients to vanilla extract? Vodka and vanilla beans. Sometimes some people use bourbon and vanilla beans and some people go with rum and vanilla beans. The directions are pretty much the same: put beans in alcohol, and let soak for a few months. Done. We found the idea, once again, at Kitchen Stewardship.
It may sound simple. However, FIRST you must buy vodka. I don’t buy vodka really, and in fact, you might call me a vodka virgin. I don’t like alcohol in general.
I don’t mean to be legalistic about it or anything. I honestly don’t like it. About 70% of the issue is I’m the daughter of an alcoholic and 30% of the issue is that I’m a Minnesota Lutheran. Alcohol comes with baggage for me. I pretty much can’t smell beer on someone’s breath without getting sick to my stomach.
For that reason, after my dad left, no one ever drank in our house. On top of that, we go to a church that serves grape juice for communion instead of wine. Guess what their take on alcohol is? They’re not against it, but you won’t find too many people that are for it either.
It was a big lesson after my mom finally remarried when my step dad would order a glass of wine at a restaurant with his dinner. I remember how tense it would make my sister and I. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, but we had so much baggage. In all reality, we had never seen anyone drink in moderation before. We had never seen someone have just one glass. It was very eye opening for us.
A few years after I turned 21, I had some alcohol to try it. I can’t stand beer. The only thing I ever could handle after work with friends was those big fruity, ice cream, umbrella drinks and even then I would get half way through and stop. I just didn’t like it and wished I would have just ordered something big and fruity with ice cream. Why ruin it with that alcohol, you know?
Knut grew up in an alcohol-free home (although I do think they used real vanilla extract and not the imitation stuff sometimes! Ha!) Still, he’ll have a beer every once in awhile with a friend or when my parents come over. He’s one of those guys who can have just one. He has to rinse out his mouth about 3 times after he’s done if he ever dreams of kissing me so I don’t throw up in his mouth, so that’s a downside for him. He also enjoys a glass of wine at a fancy restaurant. He’s like my step-dad that way and not my other dad.
What I’m saying is I’m not a normal liquor store patron. I’m 30 years old and was still feeling strange going in to buy this one ingredient for the vanilla extract that Knut and I wanted to make together.
I felt like I might as well have been lingerie shopping with 4 kids in tow. I wish I could have ordered it online or in a catalog, but did I really have to go into the store?
If you know me, you’re laughing at me now. If you don’t, you may be thinking I’m really messed up.
For over a week ahead of time, I stressed about how I’d do it. Would I bring the kids along? Should I get a sitter for the afternoon so I can go get my vodka? I had a fear that if I left them in the car and just ran inside they’d have that one memory of when mom went into that one store that says “liquor” on it and ran out with something huge in a brown paper bag and when they asked me what it was I just blurted out “none of your business!” as the car skidded out of the parking lot. No, I couldn’t do it that way.
Should I take them into the store with me? Knowing them, they’d ask me questions all along the way. What’s this one? What’s this? Which one are we getting? Can I have some? I had pretty much planned every responsible answer to every probable question they could ask me in that store and was nervously planning to take them all. That was when Knut was home an hour early one day and asked me “Do you want to run to town alone? It’s been ages since you’ve been able to run to run errands in town alone.”
Yes. Thank you Knut. So I went to the liquor store alone.
So like a man buying tampons, I rushed in, grabbed the bottle at the bottom of the shelf that was the cheapest. It was so cheap it came in a plastic bottle. At the checkout I handed over my I.D. and nervously wondered: do I make eye contact or do I look down? Which one looks less like an alcoholic? Should I act like I’m throwing a huge party? Maybe I should have gotten the kind in the glass bottle so I could pass it off as a gift. No, then I’d look like the kind of person who buys a huge bottle of vodka as a gift.
I nervously blurt out that it’s just for vanilla extract. The lady gives me a confused look. I take the paper package, and head out to the car.
O, lovely fresh air! I felt like a teenager who has just completed a dare.
A few days later, Knut and I spent the afternoon slicing open a package of vanilla beans that we bought off of ebay. (Who knew that was the place to get vanilla beans cheap? We made up this great story about how they’re probably cheap because they’re stolen from some Madagascar mofia and swiped to sell to stupid Americans on ebay.) We bought extra so next time we make ice cream we can use real vanilla beans.
We accidentally cut up a bit too many beans, and the bottle I bought wasn’t quite big enough. I told Knut he can buy it next time.
Sheila says
September 6, 2011 at 1:00 pmI am smiling…I had the same encounter….I was asked to bring a bottle of wine to a work Christmas party. I went alone to the liquor store….after dark, but not late. (I had to ask for help.) When we arrived our host greeted us and then said, “I told my wife, ‘why didn’t you ask her to bring cookies, you know they aren’t drinkers.’. 🙂 I told my kids about it, but of course 3 of them are over 21 and the youngest was 15. Three of them just smiled….the other one shook their head and muttered, “rookie” (with a smile).
Paulaf says
September 6, 2011 at 1:42 pmI don’t drink for more or less the same reasons, dad is an alcoholic, Mom’s family does drink anyway (Baptist/United) and I’m allergic to it -unless the dish cooks all afternoon I will get sick.
We make our own vanilla too. I take Ella to get the vodka. I buy wine sometimes too for a few dishes I make. You can’t shield children forever from alcohol, so I teach her now our family beliefs about it. Another reason to homeschool, she hears only our opinions about booze while she’s young.
I had to smile at your description of buying the vodka. The first time I had to buy wine was the same. Wandering around the store looking lost. I look really young and was carded at the checkout (even though I was well over 19).
Penny says
September 6, 2011 at 2:00 pmI love your story! I pretty much feel the same way in a liquor store. James usually goes, so I’m lost when I’m there by myself. I guess ours even hands out suckers to the kids if you bring them in. Great! Now the kids would keep asking to go the beer store! (No, not really, because we have never taken them in there)
We are only casual drinkers, too. In fact, we joke that we use WAY more liquor for cooking than we ever have for drinking!! 🙂 We make beer brats a lot, and we have a recipe we love for fajitas in which the marinade includes tequila. (No worm required.)
You’ve inspired me to try making vanilla extract. I’ve never cooked with the real stuff…to pricey. Now I have an excuse to try!
J and K Smith says
September 6, 2011 at 2:41 pmI am crying from laughing tears! I would be the same way about shopping for alcohol down to the planning for every conceivable possiblity because it is so far out of my comfort zone. I also HATE the smell of alcohol and Jacob can just wait until it is gone…COMPLETELY GONE from his mouth before he dare approach me for a kiss. Needless to say he doesn’t drink very often. Maybe he can borrow some mouthwashing tips from Knut. 🙂 Hope you are all enjoying the first day of school!
J and K Smith says
September 6, 2011 at 2:53 pmJacob says you ran out of vodka because you were DRINKING it! He can see it in your glasses on the table. 🙂
Gretchen R says
September 6, 2011 at 3:05 pmHa! I didn’t notice that before! Note to self: when taking pictures of vodka remove glasses of water…
Anonymous says
September 6, 2011 at 3:24 pmKnut did NOT grow up in an alcohol-free hme!!—-I know his mother. His mother is a friend of mine. She’s a great cook. I KNOW there was vanilla (and almond flavoring!) in their home!
Your story mirrors mine (I’m in that group over there!)…..One older brother, one older sister (who died from it)….and one uncle who came back from France/WW I had lives touched, damaged by alcohol….and I always said, too, that “I just don’t LIKE alcohol products” when I didn’t drink (from a Lutheran farm background as well)…that “worked” until the day I had a marguerita!! There was NO WAY I could say “I don’t like how that tastes.” I went home from work at Lockheed that day, after that great noon lunch with a strawberry marguerita, knowing I had a decision to make and I was terrified I wouldn’t make it a decisive decision. Now I had to choose to not drink–not because I didn’t like the taste, but because I was choosing not to, to avoid the vulnerability of possible consequences.
Since then I’ve had one other marguerita (about 27 years ago!) and that scared me silly because I realized it still tasted good and that I had broken my commitment to never drink. And that was the end of that.
My mother and her 10 sisters (accurate number) lived near each other most of their lives and, back in the 1950’s, I can’t tell you how they “enjoyed a little vanilla with their coffee”…..and, just like Aunt Bea, they were HORRIFIED, horrified I tell you, the day my (other) sister showed them the label on the vanilla jar to help them that just maybe a teaspoon or two of vanilla in their coffee wasn’t just flavoring…..ended the vanilla fun for some of them, I know!
Gretchen, NEVER apologize for buying vodka for vanilla-making again. And you should go buy it the next time, too. Be who you are, buy your own vodka, and stand in clear conscience. There are people who hit their kids with baseball bats….Knut doesn’t have to explain to the cashier that he’s not going to when he buys one for David!! I’m serious: next time you need Vodka, buy it yourself and don’t tell them why you’re buying it. There’s alot going on there, I realize….been there. Last year I needed some cooking sherry! A bit of the same thing–and I was just in the grocery stores! But try to find cooking sherry in that little country town between Thanksgiving and Christmas!! Not easy. Multiple humiliations! I ended up feeling like I was crawling from store to store gasping, “I must have my sherry. Must have my sherry….where’s the sherry….do you have sherry….I must have sherry.” Felt like a complete fool!!
Good story for a Tuesday..Loving you, Sharon
Kristen says
September 6, 2011 at 6:42 pmThis post had me laughing out loud! I could just picture the whole scene playing out. Good luck with the homemade vanilla. 🙂
Mom says
September 6, 2011 at 11:34 pmGreat story! And Sharon, I’ve been flavoring my coffee with vanilla and cinnamon and never made the connection before. Oops! I’m the classic tea totaler, too. Oh well! 🙂
stewbert says
September 7, 2011 at 2:51 amhahahaha! My ex is/was an alcoholic so I hate it too … plus I’m LDS and don’t drink. I don’t even drink coffee. I’m sure if I decided to try making my own vanilla, I’d be in the same boat.
Stacydufault says
September 7, 2011 at 3:50 amI can totally relate to your liquor store post! I used to make beer bread…and since we don’t have beer on hand I had to go to the liquor store for the first time at age 29! I had it all written down – as to what kind to get and I was so nervous! Very funny! Thanks for sharing!
Anonymous says
September 8, 2011 at 1:02 amI got more pressure to drink at 29 years old from my baby (23-yr-old) brother last week than I have had in the rest of my life combined. He’s the classic college frat boy who’s done it all and can’t remember most of it. I have never been drunk. I am proud to say that I still have never been drunk, and my little bro seems to respect me for it. I also LOVE that each of us can handle adult beverages in the way we feel best–whether for cooking only, none at all, or some in-between moderation.
Ginny says
September 8, 2011 at 1:51 amLoved this post Gretchen–I am with you here–feel so weird going in the liquor store for baby bottles of brandy for baking!!
Mama Bear says
September 12, 2011 at 1:46 amToo funny and I feel EXACTLY the same way!!! My family has not been touched by alcohol, it is just that I never drank it when I was younger like most of my friends because I didn’t want to waste my money on it! But I am tempted to try the vanilla! Let us know how it turns out!