The weather is simply gorgeous. Knut’s parents invited us over last night to their house overlooking this lake, and the kids got to go canoeing and kayaking on the fine, fine day. I stayed home on Saturday and got as many things done for this week as I could, but then I realized yesterday when I looked at the forecast that we have a gorgeous week ahead of us, and you know what that means…
I’m going to be in the garden this week.
There’s already weeds growing in my garden folks. Already.
I haven’t even…
I just can’t…
This is so not fair.
Just give me a chance, this year alright? I’m trying to move towards a no-till, mulching type garden, similar to “Back to Eden” gardening as it’s being termed. My garden is so obviously in desperate need of it. I’m honestly a little afraid. I’m afraid of physical labor. Last year was my best gardening year ever, but I’m still nervous. My injury is like a shadow standing over me saying, “If you do that, you will hurt. You won’t be able to move for days. You will be stuck just putting on the t.v. for your kids and snapping at them for 2 weeks. Go ahead. Put in seeds. Move some mulch. Wield that wheelbarrow. You’ll regret it.”
Having experienced chronic pain from a car accident, even though it’s slowly getting to a place of being managed now… it leaves an impression of fear. I’m not sure what is more crippling some days: the pain, or the fear of pain.
I could give up. I don’t have to garden. There are grocery stores near us. But I love it. I love the fresh food for my family. Our whole budget revolves around it. Our health is managed through it. I could list 1,000 reasons I press on.
Mostly, though, I press on because I refuse to live in fear. Well, I can’t say that. Sometimes I’m just afraid and I can’t control that. I refuse to let fear make decisions for me. I refuse to live by fear. I don’t want to run my life according to fear. This pain will not steal my life.
I’m an overcomer. I am not a victim.
(Hear the need to pump myself up in my words? I’m saying this to myself people.)
I’ll start small. I’ll prune back the raspberries, and make space for the asparagus to come in. I’ll weed and mulch the cutting flowers in the old garden, and…maybe we’ll just start there today. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be ready to put some seeds in the ground. We’ll see. I’ll bring my kids alongside to help. I’ll be wise and listen to my body. I have worked up to a mile on the elliptical at the YMCA and I’m doing my physical therapy. I can feel my muscles getting stronger.
This is going to be the best gardening year ever.
I’m blessed.
elizabeth says
April 27, 2015 at 1:32 pmYES! to not live by or in fear… Christ is Risen!!! Will pray for you this day about your garden and hope it is a wonderful summer for you and your family’s garden!!! Sounds like a good thing for kids to help with .. my husband has many memories of working in his parents garden growing up! God bless you!!
Donna says
April 27, 2015 at 2:15 pmDo a little bit at a time. You can judge what is too much. It just stinks when our bodies can’t do what we want them to. I know I have more limitations as I have gotten older and I am NOT happy about it! I know you will have a beautiful garden this year.
Kim says
April 27, 2015 at 4:03 pmI am hoping you are able to listen to your body and take things slow and steady. It sounds like you are definitely on the mend. It sounds like your garden will be amazing and for sure get those kiddos out to help!
xoxo
Mom says
April 27, 2015 at 6:24 pmThe old “Divide and Conquer” is the best time-tested method of tackling a big project. Divide the project in systematic and logical pieces and take one small step at a time. It’ll get done! You’re the best!