Messy Joy

I heard Pastor Tim Keller say not that long ago that he finds it interesting that in all of Paul’s letters in the Bible, not once does he pray for a change in circumstance.  I’ve been chewing on that thought for awhile now.  It’s an interesting notation, because other passages do make it clear that we can and should pray for God to act and move in our lives.  God does change circumstances, when it suits his will.  The Bible also says that we do not have because we do not ask.

My kids wanted to make themselves a snack the other day, and came up with the idea to make cupcakes.  It was not what I would have picked at all, but I said ok simply because they were actually getting along and were excited to work on something together.  It was beautiful, in a messy sort of way.

I have been working this year on keeping better hold on the cleanliness and order of my house.  I have a list I work through each day that is very manageable.  I’m not good about it every day, but I’m good about it more days than I usually am and those good days start to add up to a bit more sanity.  Breaking up my goal into chewable pieces has really helped.

My mom used to say that she read somewhere that messy people are actually frustrated perfectionists.  They see that it cannot be done perfectly, so they don’t bother doing it at all.  I’ve always thought that described me perfectly.  The thing about goals and standards is that they are this level of perfection that we will likely not ever meet.

They say “cleanliness is next to godliness” though that is not found in the scriptures.  God’s word talks about God finding us, and God meeting us in the midst.

…in the midst of mess, disorder, craziness.

It’s the beauty of grace: he comes to us in our craziness, not us fixing ourselves up for him.  He’s the God of restoration.  Sometimes he changes circumstances, but I see over and over again Jesus prioritizing, and focusing on people’s hearts more than their circumstances.

Motherhood is this constant reminder that our children will not be trained overnight.  It’s this process spanning decades where you repeat yourself over and over, but messes keep popping up like weeds in a garden.  There are literal messes, and then there’s the spiritual ones.  Oh, we are a mess sometimes.

He does not call us, or provide us joy only in perfection or a job well done.  He gives it to us in the midst.  He is with us in the mess.  He will put all things right, starting with the most important: our hearts.  It’s easy to get fooled into the idea that our hearts will be healed when the circumstances allow.  God is greater than that.  He heals our hearts in the midst of any circumstance.

When we pray that God’s will be done, we should keep in mind that he prioritizes hearts over circumstances.  He will always put people before things.

I’m saying this to myself more than anyone else.  I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and prioritized my “quiet” time.  I put “quiet” in quotation marks because I was interrupted from reading my one chapter of the Bible no less than 20 times.  I yelled at my kids no less than 5 times to leave me alone with my Bible open on my lap.  (I had got them all set up with something to do, snuck away, and tried to get in some quick wisdom and restoration.  The kids had other plans.)  I want so badly to have a good day today, and it feels like my kids are taking turns ruining my plans for sanity like an eternal game of Wack-a mole.

This life is messy.  It’s imperfect.  But make no mistake, he is with us in this mess.  He is the anchor in the storm.  He has not abandoned us.  It’s a walk, a journey, not this state of perfection that we have reached.