I’m Blessed

This morning as I write, I’m thinking that this idea of taking me, the worst candidate for a morning person, and thinking about how I’m blessed on Monday morning, before anything else, is a very, very bad idea.

And yet, here we are.

This morning I’m annoyed at something.  Actually, I’m annoyed at many things.  I’m annoyed that I’ve had to remind my son 378 different times to focus on his chores this morning.  I’m annoyed Silje is getting so big and changing so much all of a sudden.  I’m annoyed at my husband, I’m annoyed at my children.  That’s the funny thing about gratitude.  It doesn’t play well with annoyance.

We cling to annoyance, don’t we?  Or, at least I do.

Annoyance carries with it this sense of entitlement, or pride, a sense that “I’m right and why can’t everyone just listen to me?”  Releasing annoyance feels like a defeat.  Like you get up fighting.

In all reality, releasing annoyance is a victory.  And you do give up fighting, and exchange it for peace.

Lots of peace.

The cure for most attitudes is gratitude, and I’ll admit, I start begrudgingly many times.  I hate that about myself.  I’ll admit, strong coffee helps this step of choosing to change.

Gratitude isn’t giving up my right-ness.  It’s making God’s rightness superior to mine.  It’s prioritizing what my brain is allowed to dwell on.

So here it goes.  Obedience first, feelings later.

I’m so grateful for fresh eggs every morning.  I love when I pick on up out of the nesting box and it’s warm in my hand.  Oh, that’s lovely.

I’m so blessed with lots of food for my family.

I’m blessed that Knut makes my coffee for me every morning.

I’m blessed to see Ingrid toddle all around.  I love baby walks.  It’s so curious and innocent and just plain funny.

…Sorry, I just had to leave my writing to go discipline one of my kids.  I wish kids didn’t need correction.  I wish everything could be this sweet little discussion.  Their disobedience is totally messing with my attempt at gratitude.

Sigh.

I’m thankful for forgiveness.

I’m grateful for reconciliation.

I’m blessed with those blasted Legos that are everywhere in my house.

Sigh.  Focus, Gretchen.

I’m blessed with my soft robe, and a warm house.

I’m blessed with wool socks, and running and sliding on the wood floor.  You bet I do.

I’m thankful for the sun that has been melting winter away in a hurry, and walks outside with just a little sweater.  It feels so indulgent and yet so light!

I’m so blessed that no matter how many times I fail at this, mercies are new.

“Morning by morning new  mercies I see!
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided.
Great is Thy Faithfulness, Lord unto me.”

I’m thankful that song is now stuck in my head.  I think it’s exactly what I needed.

I’m Blessed.