I’m Blessed

The weather got a bit warmer, allowing all of us to get out of the house and go cross country skiing.  The 3 older kids are on skis, and the 2 little girls go in the pulk (a sled for babies with a harness for Daddy to pull).  I brought my camera along, but I didn’t dare take it on the trail with me.  I’m still working to restrengthen my core muscles, and I was sure if I took my camera out, I would fall on it.  I wish I had it when the 2 little girls were snuggling under a wool blanket in the little sled that Knut pulled.

Since Silje and David go out there with Knut often enough, they just took off on the trails, and Elias was my little buddy.  He’s still getting his ski legs, and I’ve found that he shuts down when he feels any pressure at all.  So I just ski as slow as possible next to him and complain about how terrible it is to be beaten by a 5 year old as I slip and slide backwards, and he giggles in the track next to me, working those legs as fast as he can.  It’s the only way to get him moving faster than .2 miles an hour.

It is fun to make him giggle.

This year I got him all the way around the easiest trail, compared to last year when we had to take a short cut and just get back to the ski house as soon as possible.

He can’t handle the downhills well.  He gets nervous and just sits down.  He gets that from me, not Knut.  I think I did that the first 3 years Knut took me skiing.  Once we got him one time around the track, we left the big kids at the ski house with a bucket of Legos, and I got to go as fast as I wanted around the easiest track while Knut kept pulling the little girls behind him.

It felt so good to move.  I’m not as sore as I expected.  I really need to get back in shape.

Then the warmer weather cooled off, and by Sunday morning, the roads were a slick sheet of ice.  Church was cancelled, and I missed my 3rd week in a row because I missed the last 2 weeks due to sick kids.  I think that’s a record for me.  It may sound silly, but for me, church is the highlight of my week.  I’m really missing the fellowship and preaching and worship.

The mixed blessing in all of this, is it has driven me back to my morning devotionals.  I’ve picked up my daily personal Bible reading again and my prayer cards.  I stopped doing them awhile back for various excuses, but decided that when Ingrid was up at night, I shouldn’t get up before everyone in the morning to have that quiet time.  I figured there’s no requirement to do so, and I’d start again when she started sleeping through the night.

But then I didn’t.  The car accident happened, and then for a few months I was in pain, and emotionally quite numb or overwhelmed.  There was a lot of crying out to God throughout the day during that time.  I remember telling Knut during that time that I was experiencing God unlike any other time in my life.  It was so unemotional, and so extremely practical.  I didn’t feel His presence close, in fact I felt very little but I saw Him work as though He was working right here in my house.  It was quite surreal.

Meals showed up at my doorstep when they were needed.  People came to weed my garden when I had the thought “what am I going to do?”  On my way to doctor visits, when I wasn’t sure who would be watching my kids during my treatments, a friend would call up and say, “I have this morning off, and felt like God was telling me to call you and offer some help.  What do you need?”

Yes, God has been very practical these last few months.  Though my regular devotions did not carry on, the relationship did not cease or fade.  It’s amazing how grace works.

I was getting desperate for that time with God after this 3rd missed Sunday, so this has been good to be back into the routine of daily time in the Word.  I went through my prayer cards where they were left last, and I hate to admit, one of them was labeled “New Baby” where my notes were written out for a safe delivery, and that Knut and I could agree on a name soon.

I hate to admit that is how long it’s been.  It looks terrible written out.  How has it been that long?  Ingrid is a year old now.  Have I really let those few weeks off turn into a few months that turned into a year?  I know I still read the Bible to the kids, and prepare for my Sunday School lessons, and read books about the Bible.  I have called out for help many times, but I haven’t been in the Word.  Do you know what I mean?  I missed having the source in my hands.

It has really made me think, and begin to consider many aspects of my relationship with God, and my priorities in general.  It’s amazing how unapologetically this quiet meditation has begun to refine me.  God is sure patient.

I’m blessed.