Grace Rules

This morning I woke up in my own bed.  Flannel sheets, and a large warm body to my back and a small warm body to my front.  My alarm went off.

I thought long and hard about setting my alarm last night.  I was tired, and I was pretty sure the kids would sleep in after our long trip.  I was eager to start our first day back home in a good way.  I had so much to do.  Suitcases needed to get unpacked.  Meals needed to be made.  Children needed to get cleaned.  The kids were craving some structure and normal.

I spent a good hour the night before crafting the perfect schedule for today.  Everyone had jobs to do.  Everyone was scheduled some outside time.  Preparation for the healthiest of meals to get all of our traveling stomachs back on course was scheduled in as well.  With such a full day, I knew I would need some time with God first.  So I set my alarm.

I know I’ve spoken before Ingrid was born how I often pray that God will wake me in the morning at the right time to have some Bible reading and prayer time before the rest of the family wakes up.  I fail so badly at having regular devotions, but if I leave it in God’s hands to remember, and simply obey and get up it’s much easier.  However, God has given me much grace since Ingrid has been born to just get the sleep I can get and not get confused in the morning when she wakes up at 5:30 and I wonder if I should be having devotions or going back to sleep.

So I decided to just rest in grace, and return to my daily devotions when I felt God leading me to it.  Now that Ingrid is over 3 months old, I’m missing that time dearly.

I hesitated setting my alarm, even though I knew it wasn’t a sign of my lack of trust that God would wake me if he wanted to.  No, I just wanted it to be that much of a priority.  I was that desperate for it.  However, it reminded me of all my years of failing to get up when that alarm went off.  It reminded me of all the times I’ve set out to have a spiritual life, and fell flat on my face.  I felt to vulnerable for failure, but so desperate for some time with God.  So I set my alarm despite my memories.

This morning as the alarm quietly went off, Knut told me that it was too early, and I should sleep while the kids sleep.  So I lay there for about 10 minutes, and then got up.  I whispered that I needed some prayer time today.  As soon as I sat down in my chair in our bedroom, Solveig started crying.

I went into the girls’ room, and picked her up.  She had pooped out of her diaper again, this time all up her front.  She was still feeling the effects of the road on her system.  So I brought her to the bathroom and changed her pajamas, and got a warm washcloth and wiped her all down.  She snuggled back into my arms, and I laid her back down in the crib to sleep some more.

I opened up my Bible, but wasn’t sure where to start.  I have been reading some devotionals on Lent lately, so I figured I should start somewhere near Holy Week in the gospels.  So I flipped towards that part of the Bible, and landed somewhere in Luke.  My eyes went to the story of the Good Samaritan, so I started there.  I read how holy people with busy schedules walked past by a man in need, because he was not a priority.  I kept reading and next Jesus went to the house of Mary and Martha.

One sister was doing all the work, and the other was sitting at Jesus’ feet and listening to him teach.  The working sister asked Jesus to make her sister serve and relieve some of the burden as well.  Jesus said the one who was sitting at his feet had the right priorities.

It hit my heart very hard.  My day was scheduled so perfectly.  While that was all well and good, I felt like God was telling me that while the schedule is good, and grace is good, my priority should be the grace. My priority should be his teaching.

The schedule is good, but it is not the god.

Afterward, I went downstairs and made some oatmeal for the kids for when they woke up.  I was determined they were going to eat right so I made plans to feed them comfort food even from breakfast, even though that’s normally something Knut gets up to do.  I was so full of hope, and full of joy in being back in my own kitchen.  Today was our get-back-on-track-day, and we were going to get back on track.

All the kids woke up well and loved their oatmeal.  All except Solveig.  She woke up cranky and yelling.  She was yelling at everyone, and wasn’t sure what she wanted or how to communicate what she wanted.  All her words left her as she used only pointing and screaming.  She cried.  I held her.  I put on some fun music.  I laughed with the other kids while she was on my lap.  None of it helped her snap out of her bad mood.

I couldn’t get one thing done on my schedule because Solveig needed me to hold her.  I started the other kids on their tasks, and thankfully, they did them wholeheartedly.  Solveig still stunk from the trip and the night before.  Elias was asking for a bath, so I decided to stick them both in the bathtub even though it was a break from my perfect schedule.  They weren’t supposed to get their bath until that night.

She didn’t like the bath.  She either screamed or stared straight ahead.  Elias had fun with all the toys she didn’t play with.  Finally, I picked out a cute, comfortable outfit and got her dried off and dressed.  She was all out of screaming and yelling.  Only the snuggles were left.  So we snuggled until Elias got all prune-y and I had to take him out as well.

I asked the older kids to finish up their un-packing chores and then instead of moving onto their other jobs, I let David and Elias go play in the snow, and let Silje just read a book by the fire.  I set Solveig by the t.v. instead of the coloring I had planned for her to do and put on her favorite show as she just rested her head down.  I got out the fish from the freezer that is supposed to be supper tonight.  I finished my oatmeal and coffee.

Ingrid was getting clingy and I spent the next hour holding her.  She’s finally sleeping in her favorite spot by the warm fireplace.

Elias came in from outside with a bloody nose, but not too bad.  David had just thrown a snowball at him in fun, and Elias’ nose bleeds easily when he is overly tired.  David came in from outside and apologized.  I told him I knew he was just playing and it wasn’t intentional.  He wanted to come inside so I asked him to pick up his skis and put them away and he did so without so much as a complaint.

Silje needs some alone time.  David needs some outside time.  Elias needs some rest time.  Solveig needs some snuggles and rest.  Ingrid needs to be held.

The schedule failed.  Grace ruled.

It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?