I’m Blessed

It’s one of those “dig deep” weeks.  It’s not that I’m not blessed, it’s that I don’t always feel blessed.
This week, I feel tired.

The soy bean harvest is finished, and they’ve moved onto corn.  That means if the weather holds, harvest could be done in a few weeks.  I always hope that they’re done in time for Knut to come trick or treating with the kids to visit all the aunts, uncles, grandparents, and retired farmers.  Trick or treating way out here is an entirely different event than it was when I grew up in the city.  That’s for a completely different post, though.

The kids miss Knut.  I need to take them out to see him more, and that would help.  Our recent turn of sicknesses in 3 of our 4 children since harvest started hasn’t exactly made it easy.

I actually took myself to the doctor this last week.  Grandma was kind enough to babysit so I could go by myself.  It was really fun to just sit and look at magazines in a waiting room.  I got reacquainted with celebrities.

I went because I was concerned that I had another ovarian cyst.  I don’t know who remembers I had to have surgery to remove on almost 2 years ago.  Pathology said it was a dermoid cyst, and that meant that my chances for getting one on the other ovary was higher than most people.  So I can get jumpy when I suspect it might be happening again.  They’re not crazy dangerous, but it’s good to catch them before they start too much trouble, and the smaller you remove them the less toll it takes on my body.

So after getting some tests, and a quick ultrasound, I found out everything is perfectly normal.  I don’t even have any normal cysts right now, which is good.  The normal ones go away by themselves, but that’s not a fun adventure either.

Have you ever gone to the doctor because you think you have something, and then find out that you’re just fine?  It’s a bittersweet moment.  You’re glad you’re healthy, but it’s rarely fun to be wrong.  When you have a high insurance deductible, it hurts a bit too, even though you’re healthy.

I swiped this from facebook the other day, but I don’t know where the original source of this great comic comes from:

I’m so blessed to be healthy.  I do not ever want to take that for granted.

It’s harvest when things are tough with the kids.  The bickering is growing, and I haven’t figured out how to stop it.  The boys especially are clingy more than normal.  I feel that maintaining my house can be achieved only by barking at my kids all day long.  If I try to not bark at them all day long, I’m rewarded with an insanely messy house by the end of the day.  I then go to sleep knowing that I’ll wake up the next morning already behind.

Like the doctor’s office, this time is bittersweet.  I’ve been talking about the bitter, but there is the sweet:

-Our bins are getting full.  Knut is bringing in a paycheck.  It’s not just monetary satisfaction, but such a sense of accomplishment, as well as a big sigh as once it’s in the bins it feels safe from hail, flood, drought, and whatever else nature throws at it.  It will be the same feeling that I’ll get when I find my first egg in the chicken coop.  At least, it’s how I imagine it will feel, as the stupid chickens are still not laying.

-I’m blessed to have chickens.  That’s not one of the points, but I just had to type it “out loud” so that I can get my mind back on track.

-Knut works for an amazing family that still takes Sundays off.  Even in the peek of harvest, they stop the combines and go to church with their families, and celebrate things like birthdays.  I’m told less than 3% of farms still do this.  I tell you the truth: I don’t know how families survive otherwise.

-God puts very heavily on my mind families where there is a single parent, or has a parent who is gone somewhere.  It makes me think of military families, and how much they sacrifice everyday.  During these weeks, I am blessed to be able to pray for those families.  In normal days, I wouldn’t remember to do this, but the prayers are constantly on my heart during this time of year.  It may sound like a strange thing to label as a blessing, but being able to pray for someone always seems to bring some kind of clarity when trying to understand the heart of God.  That is one of the biggest kinds of blessings.

-Lastly, I’m so blessed at night time when the kids are asleep.  Even if they get up, like David did last night.  He got up at midnight and was certain it was morning.  His eyes were squinting and he was looking around and confused.  It was adorable.  Any mother out there will tell you that even the most crazy day when you’re ready to sell your children, the day ends and they fall asleep…eventually.

Even when Solveig wakes up in the middle of the night screaming, she reaches for me and snuggles in my arms in a sweet desperation that is so endearing. 

Eventually, they fall asleep and look like angels.  The sound of them breathing, and their innocent faces somehow make you fall madly in love with them again and the day’s frustration falls off the shoulders. 

How are you blessed?  I’d love for you to leave a comment saying how you’ve been blessed this last week, or leave a link to your recent blog post about blessings.  I love reading them.