Homeschool Friday

Is it Friday already?

We had a picnic with our homeschool group this last Sunday, and it was fun for all of the families there to get together. The kids are really starting to make friends, and so am I. It was Knut’s first time meeting about everyone there, but there were some acquaintances there that made it fun.

Silje had her first piano lesson, and another choir practice. (Although she was 15 minutes late for the 30 minute choir practice. I lost my keys and was searching all over with all of the kids strapped and waiting in the car…I hate that. Wasn’t exactly a supermom moment.) She’s loving piano, and is still talking about it. She’s so excited that if she works hard, she’ll have something to perform for Christmas this year.

We encountered our first bit of trouble this year when Silje had to take her English grammar test on Tuesday. Before the test, we reviewed the material. We practiced classifying 3 sentences together. (Well, she did the last 2 all by herself.) Then she did some journal writing before the test started.

It was the first time she froze for a test. She’s had grammar tests before, but she just froze this time. I gave her the test paper: 2 sentences to classify, and 3 sets of words to label as SYN or ANT. We went over the questions together like we’ve done in the past to make sure she knew what each one was saying. Pretty short and sweet. She started out okay. She labeled the subject-noun, and the verb in the first sentence. Then she froze. Was the next word an adverb or an adjective? I knew she knew this.

So she turned to me and asked me which one it was. I reminded her this was a test, and I couldn’t help her. She knew this too, but continued to panic. The more she panicked, the more her brain shut down and she couldn’t think. I told her that if she didn’t know the answer, to put down her best guess. That’s when she started crying. Her body shook as she was terrified of guessing wrong and failing the test.

I didn’t know what to do! I couldn’t tell her the answer. I knew she knew the answer. We’d done these exact sentences the last week, and she had done 2 similar sentences all by herself not even 5 minutes earlier without mistake. I tried to comfort her, but ended up getting frustrated myself because all she would do is sit there and cry, and wouldn’t write anything down.

So finally I left the room. I thought she needed to process this herself. She had to learn how to push through and overcome this test fright. I wasn’t helping. The more I talked the more she cried.

Within 5 minutes, she brought the test to me and asked if she got it right. She did. 100%. Relief washed over her face, and we sat down and talked about it. You see, Silje still struggles with perfection. I’m told this is a common trait of an oldest child. In her mind, getting a single thing wrong on the test is the worst case scenario. Out of all the tests/assessments that she’s had in the last 5 weeks (she’s only tested in Bible memorization, math, grammar and spelling so far) the only thing she has missed has been one extra credit word on a spelling test. Sure, she’s smart. For her, though, that’s not good enough. She wants to be perfect.

It’s not that I want to sit down and tell her it’s okay if she messes up a lot. But that’s usually what I have to tell her. I remind her that if she gets something wrong, that doesn’t mean she’s in trouble, but it lets me know that’s where we need to work. I don’t expect her to be perfect, but I expect her best. I expect her to try. Sometimes we have to make a lot of mistakes in order to get our best to come out. It’s called practice.

I’m sure we’ve all froze on a test at one point. When you look at a question that you’ve seen before and your mind goes blank. It’s a lonely feeling. It’s so helpless. Although I wish Silje didn’t have to go through that, I’m glad she got to go through that in a place where I got to talk to her about it afterward.

The mom in me wonders if I caused it. Did I put too much pressure on her? Was I being too strict or harsh? Is it really necessary to give her tests when I know she knows it?

I think learning how to get through test-fright is a skill in itself. She’ll have to take tests all through school, and for college entrance. We’ll probably have her take the state tests as she gets older, to compare her progress to other students in the state. It’s optional in our state for homeschoolers to take state assessment tests, but I think it would be valuable information to have.

So the tests stay. We’ll have to continue on working with Silje that her best is what’s important. While we’re so so so proud of her getting 100% after 100% I can’t wait to tell her that I’m proud of her 95%. There will come a time when she’ll have a tough subject that she just can’t wrap her brain around and she’ll need to push through and try her best. Right now, when something difficult comes her way, she shuts down. She’d rather not try at all, then get less than 100%. That is what I don’t want. I don’t want her to not try things that she can’t get perfect the first time every time.

So besides that drama, things have been going well. She finished up her first huge unit of Chinese, and was so excited to move onto unit 2, with a whole new set of words to learn. Math has been going very well, and she recently told me it’s one of her favorite subjects. We are approaching parts that need more explanation and instruction, and I told her that soon we’ll have to slow down to doing just one math worksheet a day. She pouted about that, and pleaded with me to keep doing 2 lessons of that a day. I’m guessing that’s a good sign! However, I do think I’ll slow her down in the next few weeks, and spend more time going in depth in one lesson, than getting the best parts of 2 lessons put together. Plus, we’re starting to do addition drills now, and I think doing 2 sets of those a day will be too much.

I’ve been easing up a bit on holding her back on only a chapter a day on her readers. She really loves to bite off more than that in a day, so I’ve been letting her read more, and have picked up some good library books to fill in between the assigned books in her curriculum. She just finished a fun book on the Pony Express that she enjoyed.

We studied the Dongxiang people of China for our people group (without a Bible in their own language) this week, and she really enjoyed doing a bunch of “China” things, especially the Panda bears! We continue to study different types of homes around the world as well, and learning how other people live all around the world. Her geography, particularly in Asia, amazes me. She can point out so many (but of course not all yet) of the countries in that part of the world on an unlabeled map.

David has been keeping busy, and spends most of his day building things these days. He still works on his readers every day, but we haven’t moved ahead in his reading program at all this week, and I’m totally fine with that. I’ll say it again, but I think this type of play is exactly what a boy his age should be doing. From Legos to Tinkertoys, he builds the most amazing “inventions” and explains to me what each one does.

He’s also given the responsibility to play with Elias while I have one on one work to do with Silje, and I honestly think he’s been liking some responsibilities that normally get handed to Silje. Of course, he’s not always so compliant, but I see his ability to nurture and care for others growing, as well as the bond between the brothers. Requiring him to care for someone else has really been good for his attitude, and I really like seeing how this has been developing him.

He’s been more willing to color lately, which makes me very happy. He never uses his right hand anymore for writing or coloring. We’ve been trying to determine if he’s right or left handed and have naively been watching him while he eats to tell. Sometimes he would use his right, sometimes his left. One day, Knut asked him if he could put his fork in his right hand. Aghast, David refused. Knut asked him why, and David explained that the fork goes on the left side of the plate and the spoon goes on the right side of the plate. They do not cross over.

So with that misunderstanding cleared, up, we have let him use whatever hand he desires to draw, and it has been his left hand 100% of the time. I’m a little apprehensive about teaching handwriting to a leftie. I suppose I’ll figure it out when I get there.