Gaining Some Order

I feel as though my house is now in a presentable enough state that people could stop by and I wouldn’t be horrified. It’s been a year or two since I could say that, but now I think I can again. It’s not perfectly clean, by any measure. It’ just not embarrassing anymore in how dirty it is.

I haven’t been on the internet as much lately. I’m not sure if it’s nesting or the Lord working on my heart once again, or just me slowly starting to try to get all of my ducks in a row before we start homeschooling next month. The kids have been asking daily now, when we can start schooling. I went to Walmart and picked up their school supplies for the year. (Yes, they are out in the stores. Yes, I did shop around. Yes, I do believe they’re good prices now, and at the very best selection because not too much has been picked over yet.) Anyway, the kids are just foaming at the mouth to get to their new school supplies, hence the added excitement to the books coming in a few weeks ago.

As with any big life shift, I’ve been having my moments of freaking out about this next school year. I haven’t once felt the need to go back on the decision to homeschool this year, but I have had several “how on earth is this going to work?” moments. After all, I’m going to huge into the 3rd trimester. I’m going to have a 2 year old on the run. It’s going to be harvest time. How many balls can one person actually juggle? I started thinking if one thing didn’t go according to plan, which Murphy guarantee’s I might just fall apart.

So I’ve been doing a lot of research. I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts done by homeschooling moms and have a renewed sense of confidence. I’m learning how to organize my time, and there is no time like the present to practice. I say organizing my time because I’ve realized that is what I have been lacking the most. I am working. I am cleaning. I am parenting the kids. However, so much gets left undone at the end of the day. The sermon I mentioned in a previous post about our struggle with time (the commandment on the Sabbath) has influenced this change in our house as well.

Then, on top of all of my research, I remembered a site (which may be controversial to some, so those of you of my readers with a liberal bent, tread with caution) on parenting called “Raising Godly Tomatoes” I crossed by it before, but passed on some of her thoughts basically because she is a huge advocate of homeschooling, and I, well, I’m not. Let me clarify. I think homeschooling is a great option. That’s why we’re doing it. However, I would like to highlight the word “option.” Some homeschool advocates think it’s the only thing that Christian parents should be doing, and I don’t feel as though I can get totally on board with that idea.

This very wise woman, walks a fine line of saying that everyone should homeschool, but in her defense, (and I think she states this somewhere) it’s very difficult to implement her ideas without homeschooling. I think that’s her point. I don’t even think she thinks every parent should parent like her. However, people kept asking her for advice, since she had a family of 10 kids and people like to know from moms like that! So she started saying what she did, homeschooling being a key component of her method.

However, since we have decided to homeschool, I will be able to implement several of her ideas, which I think are pretty good ones! Several of them coincide with what I’ve been learning on the podcasts through Sonlight. I’m trying all of these ideas…from the sermon on time management to the podcasts on running a homeschooling house, to this woman’s website on raising godly “tomatoes” and I have to say…things are running pretty smoothly around here! My house is clean, my children are happy and behaving better every day, and our television hasn’t been turned on for 2 days now.

That’s right…I took away the t.v. Knut’s been begging me to do it for years, but I’ve always used it to squeeze to “babysit” the kids here or there to get a shower in, or to pull supper together, or have just 30 minutes of peace in my day. However, I was beginning to recognize the habit of watching t.v. taking a hold on my kids.

I have no intention of getting rid of our t.v. or never letting our kids watch it. We love having family movie night, and Knut and I love getting our Netflix movies out after the kids go to bed at night, and do I think taking football away from Knut may put us into some serious counseling. I’m not anti-television, and think that if we can successfully take hold of it and put it in it’s proper place in our family again. I just saw it taking over. I felt guilty how much I’d let the kids watch and would just laugh it off and promise myself I’d get better. So for now, it’s unplugged in the corner, and will remain so until Knut or I feel that we as a family are ready to plug it in again.

However, as much as Knut wanted me to do this a long while ago (go no t.v.) he had no idea what I was to do with the kids with no t.v. There was no plan, no nothing. Just “we shouldn’t do this anymore.” That’s where the godly tomaotes site has been so inspiring to me and filled that gap. It’s like I feel like there’s so much more purpose in my day as a mom, and I feel more confident in what needs to be done, and the words I say to them.

So, after my 2 days (I know, hardly a test…but a start) my kids are happier and more obedient. Elias and David especially. It’s been some adjustment for David, but I’m slowly learning not to send him away when he gets in a mood, but keep him near, and process with him. I’m not a people person, or I should say a “large group” person. I get my energy from being alone, and her idea of “tomato stalking” worried me that I’d feel a bit claustrophobic by the end of the day. However, after 2 days of using some of her methods, I have to honestly say that hasn’t been the case. The only thing that has changed is I enjoy being around my kids more and look for less places to escape to.

I am retraining myself to not “find something to keep them busy” while I do chores, but involve all 3 of them in the chores that I am doing. I’m just flabbergasted how much they are enjoying this! We were having a ball going through a big pile of socks and finding matches this morning. The kids wanted to do that with me more than anything else in the house. (Well besides watch t.v., but that wasn’t an option for them!)

I actually have no laundry to wash right now. There’s things in the sorting bags, but not enough in any bag to make a full load. The couch in the den has been nearly constantly laundry free for over a week. It comes out of the drier, gets folded and put away, and with everyone helping with a smile, and Mt. Laundry has been removed from my den. Don’t get me wrong, there are 2 closets in the upstairs of my house the desperately need to be gone through and sorted (changing out clothes sizes, etc.) but who is going to know about those? I mean, besides all of you blog readers who I just told.

The kids love to help me with everything, from laundry to dishes to cleaning up toys. (gasp!) They’ll do any of this as long as they get to be with me. How sweet is that?! I’m just overwhelmed by their desire to be around me and learn from me…I had no idea they were this hungry for “me.” I’m just honored by it, and they are just so sweet!

I guess that’s where the change actually was. It’s happening in me as I’m starting to see (finally! with 3 almost 4 kids here) my job as a mother come together and see how it’s “supposed” to work. I feel as though I’m leaving the survival mode of the last few years, the “do what you gotta do” mentality, and coming to a place of joyful living.

I know…it’s just been a matter of weeks when the change started. However, I have to say: I’ve never planned to be the homeschoolin’, cloth diaperin’, NFPin’, huge gardenin’, farm livin’, no t.v. watchin’, borderline what some of my city family would call “Amish livin'” family. I mean really, Knut and I laugh pretty often when we think about what we are turning into. We didn’t set out for this life, but we did set out to live and raise our family with intention. Not with haphazard play it by ear parenting. We’ve always tried to be intentional, and seek the Lord in places in our life that I think many families don’t see the need. I’m not saying this is the life God wants for everyone, but I will say it’s where he’s leading us.

I’m still amazed at how beautiful and peaceful this life that He has lead us to really is. The verses that just came to mind are from Psalm 23: “He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” It best describes how I see and feel this change in our family. (Although Knut wouldn’t see this as a change at all, but moving to what we should have been doing but to lazy to do all along.) I thought it would be more work, but it’s not. It’s more joy, and more effective than the survival mentality we had been practicing before. I’ve been inspired through various means lately, and hope to spread that around.