And the winner of the “Teach Them Diligently” watercolor print is:
Gail Mathes!!!!
Congratulations, Gail! You should get an email from me later today!
Oh dear friends. This parenting thing just doesn’t get any easier. We had a packed weekend, and some of my kids just struggle with that. Silje and David had their piano recital, and did fantastic. We met with our small group. Knut helped me finish the garden. It’s just gorgeous right now. I’ve never seen any of our past gardens look this good.
And yet, my kids still long for screen time. It’s become the epic battle. They are only allowed 1 hour a day, but lately if we are too busy for them to each have that hour, because we are too occupied being at parks or the library or at recitals or a friends house or even a birthday party…we have meltdowns. Coversations of every waking hour is around computer games. It’s become an obsession with more than one kids, to the point where bike riding and exploring the woods is scorned. 1 hour a day is all they are allowed. That’s it.
It’s turned into tantrum throwing, insult slinging, kicking doors, chore-time standoffs, all around headaches. It needs to stop. Again. I don’t want to be a stickler about screen time, but I will be a stickler about one thing: active play. The kids must be able to do some active play, and if they cannot, then screen time goes. You can argue over the benefits or evils of televisions and computers, but no one argues that getting a kid active and deep in imaginative play is bad. I insist that it happens.
So we are taking the month of June off of screen time. It’s time for a bit of a fast to retrain our brains. No computer or t.v. for one month for the kids. Knut and I both manage our home from our computers, so ours are staying, though I am limiting myself so I’m not working in front of the kids.
Yesterday went surprisingly well. I got up extra early and made some raisin-walnut scones for breakfast, to let the kids know this break is intended to increase the fun, not get rid of it. (The kids go crazy about scones. I’m raising such nerds.) The kids made some inventions with Snap Circuits for a long time. (They got the green energy version to add to their original version to make some electrical experiments this summer. My kids play with snap circuits as much as Legos, and that’s saying something.) They also cleaned up half the basement, and set up a summer party central with some epic games to play together. They built card castles, played games, had a few dance parties. It was an all around good day.
They are learning pretty quickly that “I’m bored” will get them doing chores alongside me pretty quick. Poor things.
This morning has not been so smooth. I didn’t get enough sleep last night and breakfast wasn’t ready when the kids woke up. Everyone talks at once then, and my mind swirls as I reach for coffee.
Also, I haven’t touched my headboard project I was planning last weekend besides laying them down on newspaper in garage. It stopped there. The kids haven’t let me have 2 minutes to get it done (even when they did have t.v. this last weekend) and Knut had some extra time so he offered to help me finish up all the gardens. I loved the help, but I really wished I could finish. Our gardens look pristine right now. I hope I can get it done soon. The strawberries will be ripe soon, and I feel like as soon as they are I will be consumed with canning and baking until that season is over.
So the race is on.
So tell me. How do you plan to keep your kids busy at home this summer?
Gail M says
June 2, 2015 at 1:42 pmOh my, am I excited…I can’t believe I won!!!! Thank you for hosting this giveaway of the beautiful print!!!! I just put the Green Energy version in my cart….my son enjoys the regular version, so he will enjoy that. We farm also and raise cattle so we will stay somewhat busy with farming. Wheat harvest is soon coming here in Kansas, also getting ready to plant grain sorghum as soon as we can get it in, fertilizer going on this week. Blessings to you from Kansas!
Gretchen says
June 2, 2015 at 5:26 pmI’m so excited for you! I really hope you enjoy it.
Shari says
June 2, 2015 at 1:42 pmMy little boys are 4.5 and 6 and we recently took the tv off the wall and put it in a closet. The six year old is fine, never really cared for it to begin with. The 4.5 year old has simply transferred his addiction to the iPad. I read a lot about the pros and cons of screens but like you I find he does nothing else and cries for it when we are out. I’m going to put it away tonight and make a pact with myself not to touch my phone until they are in bed.
We have joined a nature class for homeschoolers one morning a week and I’m trying to make myself get them outside regardless of the weather once a day.
My oldest is 24 and this parenting gig doesn’t seem to get any easier!!
Gretchen says
June 2, 2015 at 5:27 pmI’m beginning to understand that the hard doesn’t go away it just changes into a different kind of hard. Some kids really get addicted, and others don’t seem to mind either way. They are all just so different!
Dawn says
June 2, 2015 at 1:57 pmOne thing that has helped at our house is a schedule for the day. Our son knows that once he has followed the “schedule” which is actually a morning to-do list, that he can have screen time until school starts. His schedule includes breakfast, getting dressed, packing his lunch and backpack for school, cleaning his room, and watering the garden in the morning. Once those things are done, he can play screens for 20 minutes or until it’s time for school, whichever comes first.
We also institute no screen days or times, but we also have family movie nights and family Wii game time.
Gretchen says
June 2, 2015 at 5:30 pmYeah, a schedule is what we have been doing these last few months, but the kids seem to ask me to break the schedule everyday. I don’t give into them, so you’d think they’d give up asking, but they don’t. So I just have to take the conversation off the table for awhile. It’s been much more sane! I think all of us will do the schedule much better this fall after we’ve had our break. I will miss family movie nights though. We have fun with that. The kids still haven’t used their movie theater gift cards they got from their grandparents, so maybe we’ll do one trip to the movies this month instead of being at home. It depends on what movie is out. There seems to never be anything good that I want to take them to.
Elizabeth says
June 2, 2015 at 3:00 pmgood for you to fight for what is right in terms of your kids. I think your decision for June is just right. Can you have something ready for breakfast the day before/a last minute solution, even if it is not freshly baked?
I struggle with patience for things around the house too; but God can help us with it and repentance and struggle is the way forward it seems…
Wonderful about the garden; celebrate every step forward; I often forget to do this by focusing on what I did not finish; thankfully my husband is good at seeking to refocus me on this one!
HUGS!
Gretchen says
June 2, 2015 at 5:32 pmOh Elizabeth, I wish someday we could have some real life hugs. You are always such a support to me. I have been having things made and set out the night before about half the time, but when some evenings are crazy, I will often not get things ready for the next day like I should.
I have been enjoying the garden. When things have been getting stressful inside the house I’ll go walk outside in the garden just to calm me down and get a visual for all the good things we have in store. I’m just loving it!
Nicki says
June 2, 2015 at 3:36 pmWe live in Minnesota as well! We have no cable and the TV is downstairs for Dvd’s only. Our kids do play on the iPad and watch Netflix, but I’m going to be limiting it this summer because I know it’s going to be a struggle! School is out on Thursday! We have one of those blue pos set up in the yard and that’s been such a. Blessing each summer. We go to the beach, library and the cabin. Our kids are 12, 9, 8, 5 and 3, and they all play well together but I know as it gets hotter here, the screen time issue will be more of a struggle. I’m going to hold my ground, though. I do NOT want my kids growing up to be screen dependent! Play dates are fun, too, but I’m such a homebody!
Gretchen says
June 2, 2015 at 5:34 pmYeah, we gave up cable about 6 years ago. Our channels broke about a year ago, so we just do Netflix and DVDs as well. I actually kind of like that. I’m such a homebody too. Knut is always pushing me out the door, so that’s good.
Penny says
June 2, 2015 at 3:44 pmAren’t Snap Circuits fun? C plays with it the most, I think, although they all enjoy building. I need to get another set to add on, because we have just the basic 100 set. We struggle with screen time here too. They know they get 1/2 hour before bed for tablet/video, but the rest of the day is up in the air. I’m getting so tired of being asked every 5 minutes if they can use the computer for Minecraft. Oh, and mine get sneaky and ask if they can use the computer for educational websites. That’s a tough one! But if one gets time and the other doesn’t, it’s meltdown time.
Gretchen says
June 2, 2015 at 5:35 pmOh, the educational websites are always tough for me too. It’s the every 5 minute asking that pushed me over the edge. If they cannot understand that no means no, then we have to do some retraining. The meltdowns are just annoying.
kim says
June 2, 2015 at 4:31 pmStick to your guns, Mama! As the mom to already raised children, I wholeheartedly agree with your stance on screen time. “Screen Time” was not even a term when my kids were growing up, and the internet and video games came into being as they were on the cusp of teenager hood–we didn’t have any idea how all this technology would be changing the face of childhood and didn’t even realize it would grow to such importance in little lives that it would need to be limited! It is a brave new world out there and I do not envy you younger generation of moms-so many more landmines to navigate. But the long and short of it–free play and imagination and unscheduled time for kids to just “be” are so very important.
xoxoxo
Gretchen says
June 2, 2015 at 5:38 pmIt is certainly uncharted territory! I know that each generation has it’s own version of hard, but this one is very unique. Silje was in volleyball this last spring and had such a tough time making friends there because all of the girls were on their smartphones before and after practice that they didn’t talk. She’s in the 5th grade class! Teaching kids to make friends and view technology judiciously, and setting limits with no society-accepted standard is tough. It’s good to know I’m not the only one fighting for a childhood for my kids. It certainly is a fight, that doesn’t seem to be getting any easier.
Mom says
June 2, 2015 at 7:11 pmI love reading all the comments! I remember growing up in Japan and we were SO bored in the summer. I remember having to pull weeds if we complained. We also had monopoly marathons to see how long we could keep a monopoly game going. We used to ride bikes down to the swimming pools, but you wouldn’t be able to do that. 🙂 We did go to a cabin for a month every summer. Your older kids will have camp coming up, too, so there are fun things to look forward to. The internet is full of ideas (Of course you would have to secretly search so your kids don’t see your screen time! :)). Here is one site I found. http://handsonaswegrow.com/30-dirty-kid-activities/
You also have the woods out back that need exploring. Maybe a scavenger hunt would be good!
Praying for you. As we all have said, these days will go by so quickly!
Gretchen says
June 2, 2015 at 7:37 pmOh, there’s no shortage of things to do out here! It’s just a shortage of noticing them. I like the idea of a scavenger hunt!
Sheila says
June 2, 2015 at 7:25 pmBack in the day…..when I had a houseful of littles, they earned their screen time by doing their chores without needing to be prompted…and without bickering. They did not earn it every day. Watching football on TV with Dad was a Freebie though. That is probably how we ended up with 2 awesome football players.
Maybe you could allow the 1 hour to be while you are preparing breakfast and waiting for your coffee to kick in.
Gretchen says
June 2, 2015 at 7:36 pmHahaha! It’s ski races in our house. We can get those online, but we can’t get football without our channels. They go over the Grandma and Grandpa’s for that, and pretty much everything is a freebie over there! I like that idea, though, of doing chores without prompting.
Heather Krupa says
June 3, 2015 at 12:31 pmWhen we moved last year, we put the TV in our room (not my first choice because now we watch more in the evenings than before). However, with the TV out of sight, they hardly ask. Our kids haven’t learned how to play games on the computer, which is in the middle of our living area. And they don’t have access to a tablet, or even use one for school. Truly, there is about maybe a few hours of screen time a month and at this point, I have no intentions of changing that. It’s not even a reward to be earned because it comes at a high cost – lots of bad attitude after screen time. So for this stage of life, it’s just not a part of our lives. Yes, there are times I do put on a movie and for that hour, everyone is not creating chaos, but it is rare. You just have to make choices. Once they are used to not watching TV, they create new ways of playing. And, less toys usually help, too, as crazy as that sounds! Good luck!
Gretchen says
June 3, 2015 at 3:53 pmI love that. You haven’t gotten sucked in yet. It’s so true about less toys. I once visited a relative who had 10 kids, and the thing I noticed about her house was how few toys they had. It wasn’t an issue of money. I just noticed that the more kids you have, the less toys you need. I think that too many toys easily overwhelm kids and they don’t know where to start.
Amanda says
June 4, 2015 at 5:18 pmThis week, we took our TV to be recycled in advance of our coming move. We’ve not used it in about three years, but the computers are still quite a temptation. I hope the kids respond well – that was a great idea with the scones.
Gretchen says
June 4, 2015 at 5:35 pmYou know, scones soften many blows and smoothes a lot of things over. Never underestimate baked goods. 😉