At the risk of being redundant, here I go. I love this book that Silje and I are reading and I’m sneaking ahead at night after she goes to bed…again. It brings me back to when I was a little girl and used to write chapters of novels and dream of getting published. (The story is about a little girl who is a writer and wants to publish a book.) I’m loving it. Silje’s liking it. I think in about a year or two she’ll love it.
Since our deal is that she cannot read a designated school book until it is assigned to her, and of course once we’re done with it it’s free game, I’m sure she’ll read it many more times. At this point she re-reads her assigned books about 3 times after we’re done. Some more, some less.
I got the variation to the Little Pearl Vest done. It’s just a little sampler fair isle on the body. I made it a size too big for Solveig, but let her wear it to church last Sunday even though the shoulders were big. Actually, after considering the “flair” in the shoulders as the size goes up, I’m adjusting my pattern slightly in the increase area so it will be more hugging the shoulders and less flaring, and am checking my adjustments with a vest for Silje. I haven’t made anything for her in awhile.
The yarn I’m using for Silje’s Little Pearl Vest is actually from a project I’ve been meaning to frog for awhile, but haven’t had a chance. So without the messy winding up the yarn business, I’m just knitting straight from the unraveling sweater on the left.
I’ve hit a bit of a wall when it comes to designing. I finished the editing for the Buttercup pattern, and that got sent out to the testers. I have one more edit, and as I faced this next pattern for Little Pearl coming up, I went ahead and got a tech editor so the stress about checking my numbers 15 times for each size would fall off my shoulders.
Although I feel very professional getting a tech editor for my patterns, and I am relieved that I have the necessary help for them, I find I’m still coming up against a hard place when it comes to designing. It’s not that I don’t have more ideas. It’s that figuring out how to execute each idea requires so much measuring and planning and math, math, math, math.
I was talking to Knut about it the other night. I love designing patterns. I feel so creative and it gets my brain going and I think it’s so important that as adults we continue to learn and think and not just coast for years on end. I was wondering out loud why on earth I’m making myself do something so difficult? Maybe it’s easier for other designers (although I doubt it).
Still there’s that little voice inside me wondering if I’m cut out for it. I wonder if I’m just wasting my time. If I could even describe the butterflies I get in my stomach when I’m getting near the end of a pattern. I have 3 new patterns that will be done by the end of this month if all goes well! That’s a lot of butterflies. What if they’re bad? What if I start getting floods of emails telling me the patterns don’t make any sense, they came out the wrong size, I wasted their time and money…etc.
Knut lovingly told me that #1: if anyone should be stressed it should be him. His biggest cross country ski race of the year is this weekend. I did note that. 😉 #2: Don’t quit something because it’s hard. Maybe it’s fine to quit if it’s best for the family. Maybe it’s fine to quit if you hate it. Sometimes you quit if you feel no desire for it or you have no time to give to it. It’s not fine to quit because it’s hard. If it’s hard, it’s worth doing. He encouraged me to show my kids what following a dream looks like. I shouldn’t stop because it’s scary or because the work is hard.
He’s right. We try to tell our kids not to be afraid of hard work. O, I love my husband. He never ever thinks my dreams are stupid. I hope I can always do the same for him. I’m looking forward to be standing at the finish line this weekend with my cow bell ringing loudly as he finishes this 50 kilometer race for his 3rd year. He’s earned his spot into wave 1 (out of 8 waves of starters in the classic style) this year, so he’ll get to be right behind the elites. It’s a massive race with thousands of skiers. At that point it won’t matter that he’s barely had snow to train in…he’ll be skiing with the fast people so he’ll have to go fast.