Hangin’ On

Yesterday for Halloween, I had a major mom-fail.  We were going to carve pumpkins.  We were going to do a pumpkin craft.  I had all of these great plans.  None of them happened until Knut got home and we went to a fall festival party and then went trick-or-treating to a few neighbors who expect us each year.  (Great-grandparents, etc.)

Solveig was still recovering from the overstimulating and routine crushing weekend.  I don’t regret the weekend, but it’s often the little ones who pay the price.  I tried all morning to get her down for her morning nap.  We have a routine to get a fresh change, swaddle her tight, nurse or snuggle her, and then lay her down.  I did our routine and she would not sleep.  So I snuggled her longer.  She started getting drousy so I laid her down and she was screaming once again. 

I worked with her for over 2 hours.  I have let my babies cry before, but I don’t like them crying if I can avoid it.  What mother does enjoy crying, really?  Sometimes crying lets them sort themselves out.  Sometimes crying gets them more worked up and crazy.  After 2 hours of fighting her to sleep, I let her cry for about 30 minutes.  She did not fall asleep and the other kids were desperately needing me at that point.  So I brought a sleepy, cranky baby downstairs and tried to get the other kids what they needed from me.  At that point I did not feel it was wise to bring out the mess of pumpkin carving, as Solveig would scream whenever I put her down.

She’s normally a very happy baby, just so you know.  She’s not sick, she was just overtired.  Overtired is a very frustrating place to be.

Then came afternoon.  Normally her afternoon nap isn’t as good, but since her morning nap was non-existent, I figured she needed to sleep.  So we did the routine.  I laid her down.  Then I let her cry.  I didn’t know what else to do, but I did not have my whole day to hold her to offer her.  Hearing her cry shook me to my core, as it should have.  Not that it’s wrong to let her cry, but it almost feels like I feel what she feels, and that way she’s not as much alone.

If she would have been contentedly in the Ergo, I would have held her.  She was at the point where she was crying when I was holding her just as much as she was crying when I laid her down.  She was just so tired.

She never fell asleep.  By the time Knut got home for us to go to all of our activities for the night, I was physically shaking.  She wasn’t crying that whole time, but she was very clingy, and so sleepy.  The other kids were acting like their mom was just making do with them for the day, and I was crying because I, who hardly ever plan fun activities, had planned a whole day of fun activities and had been able to do none of them.

Well, Knut helped the kids into their costumes.  I was looking forward to using the swap a face out in photoshop to fix a few expressions, but this was actually everyone’s best. 

The evening was lots of fun.  From left to right: dragon, dancing tiger, cow(horse), and firefighter.  I say cow(horse) because the package said horse on it, but this horse had no mane and had the tail of a cow.  I guess some of those costume people don’t know the difference between those 2 animals.  City people…

This year Silje’s costume was pulled from the dress up box which includes dance recital outfits from cousins.  (I think she’s worked that black and pink dress into the last few years’ worth of costumes.)  David’s costume was from the after-halloween costume box that I bring out this time of year.  When the costumes get really cheap after halloween, I pick up  a few for the following year, or for our year round dress up.  Elias’ costume was $4 from Goodwill, and Solveig’s was an after Halloween sale for $1 last year.  It was a bit snug on her.

Today is much better.  Solveig is actually playing on the ground, and the older kids have been so helpful, besides the fact that they’re asking for candy every few minutes.  There was one morning meltdown when the answer to “can I have candy for breakfast” was “no.”

Today is Tuesday, and that means errands in town, homeschool group, and choir practice.  As much as I want so badly to stay at home, I know that what the older kids’ need is to go in.  I know we need groceries.  They’ve been hanging with me through all the craziness, that they should get their “fun day” and I can’t bear to take it from them.

Today I’ll actually get our weekend unpacked, diapers washed and house picked up.  At least I’ll try.  “This is the day the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it.”  “His mercies are new every morning.  Great is Thy faithfulness.”  Somedays it’s good to recite Scripture.

An egg would really help in the attitude department today.  Today our chickens are 6 months old.  Yesterday when I checked on them I saw that they had pushed the fake eggs out of each nesting box that I was told to put there to entice them to lay there.  They had somehow moved all the fake eggs over to the door, so when I peeked in, I saw a small collection of eggs.  Nice try girls.  You can’t make bail with fake money.