I’m continually amazed that I have 4 children, and I still encounter new problems and new dillemas. I don’t have it “all figured out.” It’s not a cake walk because I’ve done it all before. O, the advice that I used to give when I had 1 child. I was so stinkin’ smart then. Now that I have 4, I feel like I have no clue so often. For instance, this is my first encounter with thumb sucking.
With my other kids, if they put their thumbs in their mouths, I would remove it and put in a pacifier. I figured that when they’re older, it’ll be easier to take away a pacifier than taking away a thumb. Silje took a pacifier for about 9 or 10 months, and gave it up without a fight. The boys never took to it, as hard as I tried. That was hard when they had nothing but nursing to soothe them, or at least not as convenient. Solveig will take a pacifier, but after 4 months she’s still not that great at keeping it in. Mostly because she smiles too much. Everytime she smiles she looses the pacifier…so pretty much all the time. You’d think if she was smiling, she wouldn’t need it. However, after about 10 seconds of smiling and gazing into your eyes, she remembers her troubles, and begins crying again. She smiles whenever I look at her, but if I turn my gaze to something like picking up toys, she begins to cry again. So I have to stick it in for her, which usually requires looking at her, which makes her smile again. When I look away to get back to business, she cries that she needs it. It’s a vicious cycle. When I’m wearing her and can manage to get it in her mouth without making eye contact with her, she’ll take it just fine.
She loves her thumb, though.
It’s just that it’s so handy to have her have something always with her, and something she can control and put in her mouth herself to soothe herself. There’s this nagging thought in the back of my head, though, that I’m going to regret letting her do this. She may suck that finger until she’s 10. You know those “horror” stories you hear. Still, I’m not sure if it’s a valid worry, or if it’s a false worry like people saying you shouldn’t hold your baby too much (um, I gave that up soooo long ago. Babywearing is awesome!)
I’d like to hear from those mothers who have had a thumb sucker. Did it become a problem? Did your child suck on his thumb as he was stressing about a job interview? (OK, that one is a joke.) Was there teeth problems? Was it a big fight down the road, or did they just give it up on their own? Right now, I’m liking the simplicity of her soothing herself with little effort. I’m just wondering if I’m setting myself up for issues down the road.
Just curious.
Anonymous says
April 9, 2011 at 1:44 pmHi Gretchen,
All 3 of mine were big thumb suckers! To date none of them suck their thumbs at the ages of 14,12,11 and their teeth are fine. The biggest issue I had with with my youngest, but I think it had more to do with his Asperger’s than the thumb. The thumb happen to be his security when he was in new situations (now he has a difficult time taking his jacket off in new places or wearing short sleeves, same reason). Yes, a soother is much easier habit to break, but I found the thumb so much easier for them to sooth themselves. We just sent the kids to their rooms when they were toddlers for sucking their thumbs,the older two got the message quite fast about when thumb sucking was okay! Not sure I have been of help, but my kids seem to have turned out fine even though they were thumb suckers :). Who know they may secretly suck them at night :)!
Anonymous says
April 9, 2011 at 1:46 pmthat message is from you cousin, Kelly from Up North.
Meme says
April 9, 2011 at 2:04 pmMy first born would not take anything! Then my middle son was born and immediately sucked his thumb. He refused pacifiers completely. He is 3 1/2 and still sucks his thumb when scared or watching tv or going to bed, but usually not in public. He seems to naturally be weaning himself. I’ve not intentionally tried at all to stop him. A Dr told me once that some kids are just oral and need to be so. My third baby, who is 6 months old now sucks his middle two fingers! Its crazy wierd, but all he does with a pacifier is chew it. I’m considered working hard to keep him from doing it, but he puts himself to sleep that way.. on his own… in his crib… so I’m not going to change it :-). Good luck with your route but if your sweet girls a thumb girl she might just need to be!
J and K Smith says
April 9, 2011 at 2:38 pmKnox was SO STUBBORN about the pacifier. He would spit it out with an evil look in his eye and then shove his thumb in his mouth. I feared the worst and fought him on this… he won. I thought we would have a major battle to get him to give up his thumb, but he did it on his own around 9-10 months. I have learned that the fears we have of spoiling infants (through comforts such as sucking and babywearing) are pretty unfounded. Knox outgrew his comfort, but Kelten continues to stick his finger in his belly button as his comfort… 🙂
Anonymous says
April 9, 2011 at 2:41 pmI have four kids. The oldest sucked her third and fourth fingers. The others sucked pacifiers. I didn’t force anyone to quite and everyone had given it up before preschool at three. Two of them needed braces(genetics) and two did not. Your children are adorable and you guys are such good parents. There will be bigger issues as they grow older!
Brooke says
April 9, 2011 at 3:01 pmOne thing that I have loved about the thumb sucking is that I don’t have to worry about a paci being spit out on the dirt, or lost at the times that you need it. I know that I won’t be able to take it away from him, but also know that he’ll stop by being teased in school, or just give it up naturally. I know it won’t last forever. It really is nice when they can just pop in the thumb in the middle of the night to soothe themselves. I asked Dr. M. about this and he said that he wasn’t worried about it if I wasn’t, and really there isn’t problems associated with teeth. I know some other parents have said that their kids have been prone to getting an infection on that finger, but we have never had issues with that either. Maura had liked her thumb for a short time too, but now never sucks it. It may be short lived.
Rachel says
April 10, 2011 at 4:49 pmEvan never took to a pacifier either and would suck his thumb. We let him. We only sucks it when he’s getting ready to fall asleep and holding his lovey. He’s only 2, but I’m not worried. I think breaking a habit of thumb sucking is just like anything else with kids — she’ll figure it out!
Janelle says
April 10, 2011 at 10:46 pmAmelia was a 2 finger sucker (middle two). I too always thought it was awesome that I didn’t need to have to have a pacifer handy, however at 4 it is still occasionally a problem. After much work and reminders (and rewards) she mostly now just does it when she’s really tired or sleeping. Our doctor started to worry about her teeth and speech. I was also told by many moms that all kids stop eventually! Samuel never liked his fingers, but did have a pacifer for naps and bed only. It took a couple of weeks of trouble, but again you can always throw them away and go cold turkey. With persistence all habits can be broken, except my daily diet coke! LOL. Good luck!! 🙂
Mom says
April 11, 2011 at 2:25 amI’m sure she’ll be fine…and she’s so doggone cute!
Anonymous says
April 11, 2011 at 7:32 pmOnce a child is born, they will be dealing with situations that amaze, amuse and baffle their parents for the next 45 years minimum!! Most often, thumbsucking is neither a problem nor a dilemma: it really is just thumbsucking. It bothers me (for many of the conscientious young mothers I’ve observed recently) that they seem to think that they are responsible for “doing motherhood perfectly.” That’s not a God-given burden…. and it’s those who are already conscientious and wise who seem to be most willing to pick up this completely unrealistic and endless burden. ~~Sharon
Anonymous says
April 12, 2011 at 1:49 pmI know someone in her 20’s that still sucks her thumb when she’s nervous (and only when she’s alone). It’s not the worst thing.