A Break

I’ll admit, even brag, my husband is pretty awesome.  Seriously, most days I feel like I have to pinch myself.  I don’t usually like to go in depth too much about it because it may seem like I’m trying to flatter or overdo it, and because I hear of other people complain about their husbands and I don’t mean to make them feel bad.  However, maybe there’s not enough of us bragging about how awesome our husbands really are.  There’s a lot of tearing down of men out there, and not enough building up.

I’m sure I don’t need to acknowledge that sometimes he drives me nuts.  That’s a given in any marriage.  We’ve had our rough times, and have had our share of counseling.  No marriage is perfect, and I don’t think it’s supposed to be.  I think for the most part, we compliment each other.  We do a pretty good job of picking up where the other one is slacking. 

These last few weeks, though, he’s been so amazing.  Disgustingly so.  You see, I remember the last (and first) time I went on a quilting retreat and left him alone with the kids for the weekend.  Like any self respecting housewife, I left him with meals that just needed to be heated up.  I had the kids clothes ready to go, and ideas for things to do all left out.  I was so happy for a weekend off, that I wanted to make sure everything went perfect.

The problem was…everything DID go perfect.  I came home to happy kids, an amazingly clean house, and a happy husband who said “Everything went so great!  I don’t know what you complain about.  It was easy!”

You see where I’m going with this.  Whenever Knut is left with the kids, everything goes so well, and the house is so clean that I get mad at him, or question what in the world I’m doing wrong if he can handle things so great.  (O, and I don’t leave meals for him anymore when I’m gone!)  He makes it look so easy.  It’s disgusting.

It’s the comments like “Why don’t you just teach them to put their toys away right away?”  or “Why don’t you just start supper on time so you don’t stress out about it?”  All of the things that stress me out seem so simple to him, and when I’m gone, he gets them done without a hitch.  Seriously, disgustingly perfect.  It makes me feel like the weak link.

However, in these last few days/weeks where I’ve been taking it easy, he’s been extra amazing.  Not only has he been keeping the house cleaner than I do, but he goes out of my way to make sure I don’t feel bad about that.  The laundry is always done and put away.  The dishes are always done.  The floor is always swept or vacuumed.  The diapers are always washed.  The meals are planned and cooked without my help.  Seriously, I haven’t had to remind him to do one thing.  Not one.  Every time I think something, it’s done before I can say it.  It’s been such a blessing not just to have everything magically be done, but to not have to worry about things getting done.   Last night when we got home from the hospital, he made an amazing batch of cider beef over cheddar smashed potatoes (one of Knut and my favorite…although we can’t seem to get the kids to like it.)  Before you ask for the recipe, I’ll say you can find it on the Rachel Ray site under “Elsa’s Cider Beef.”

He’s gone out of his way, this time around, to make sure I don’t feel guilty for sitting down.  For taking naps.  My body was so exhausted from the hospital episode yesterday that when we got home, I took a 3 hour nap.  Then I went to bed at 9:30pm, which is really unusual for me as I’m a night owl, and slept into 9:30 this morning.  Not counting bathroom breaks, that’s 12 hours!  This morning I still felt weak, and spent most of it lying on the couch and giggling with Elias.  He’s been encouraging this, and asking if he can bring me more water, more food, and all this while cleaning up and trying to keep the kids quiet and not crawling all over me.

I don’t know if he knows this, but he did the most encouraging thing for me today so far.  He asked if he could go skiing for a few hours.  He arranged for the kids to stay with his parents while he was gone, but he said “I just REALLY need a break.  It’s just SO HARD to keep juggling things all the time, and the constant touching, and little fingers everywhere, and constant questions.  I could really use a break and just ski by myself in the quiet for just a little bit.”

So he’s out skiing.  I’ve only had, like 2 contractions this morning and felt very comfortable being left alone, and actually am quite enjoying a quiet house.  I’m thinking of popping in the DVD player either “Pride and Prejudice” or “Sense and Sensibility.”  I haven’t decided yet. 

I’m so grateful for my husband and how little complaining he does and how he’s really the hardest worker I know.  Not just at work, but at home.  He’s always working.  He’s always serving others.  I’m so blessed that whenever I think and just dwell on how God gave him to me, I start crying (pregnant or not).  Today, though, I was blessed by seeing that he acknowledges that the hard part of managing a house isn’t doing the dishes, or the laundry, or caring for the kids.  It’s trying to constantly be consistent.  It’s doing the same thing day in and day out without any break.  It’s the being overstimulated all day long and just aching for a few minutes peace.  Seeing him at that point makes me happy.  That’s probably a bad thing to say, but it’s true.  I think showing me his humanness is so amazingly encouraging.  Mostly because it makes me feel like maybe I’m not so crazy for losing my mind every once in awhile.