Cemetery Party

We went to a cemetery party today.

Well, in all honesty, we were asked to go to a “cemetery party” and we talked about the event as a “cemetery party” but in all actuality it was a dedication of a monument recognizing the church that burned down in 1923, 1/2 mile from our house. It was struck by lightening, leaving behind only the graveyard next to it. Knut’s great-grandparents, Hans and Lillie, among other relatives, are buried there.

The descendants of those who are buried there, or who went to church there came to the memorial event. Of course, there was lots of our family there, as well as some of the farm families near us.

They had a small service, and we had communion using the chalice from the original church. served by a pastor who is also a descendant of those buried there. I think my favorite was the hymn we sang first called “Built on a Rock.” One of the verses went like this:

Built on a rock the Church shall stand,
Even when steeples are falling,
Crumbled have spires in ev’ry land,
Bells still are chiming and calling–
Calling the young and old to rest,
Calling the souls of those distressed,
Longing for life everlasting.

It was fun to hear the records of the discussions they had back then, for things like it was $190? (I know they said 100-something) to hire a contractor to build the church way back in 1886, and they paid their pastor $600/year. The church had a committee to oversee the surrounding small schools.

On a side note, Knut recently found out that there was a little one room school house that used to be on our field just in front of our house. We had assumed the Carlisle school that we’ve heard so much about and Knut’s dad went to for many years, was the one room schoolhouse of the area. Apparently, they tried to limit schoolrooms, much like today, to 25 students or so. Since so many farms had such a large number of children, there was a schoolhouse sometimes every few farms.

Knut’s grandpa, who was also there, has one living sister. He has 4 buried siblings in the graveyard. One is a baby who died possibly during childbirth with only the name “Baby R—-” on the headstone. Then there’s Erling, who died of spinal meningitis at 14 months old, Sverre, who died of pneumonia at age 8 months old, and Valborg, a girl with downs syndrome who died of pneumonia nearly 5 years old. I know they say it was common to lose children back then, and when people say that, I think that they’re trying to make it better. They’re trying to say that it wasn’t as big of a deal back then.

I would have to disagree. I don’t think it’s ever been “normal” to lose a child, and if you look at things written during those times, and not just about those times you would have to agree. My favorite example is a classic book call “Giants in the Earth.” It’s a book written in Norwegian (I recommend the English translation!) by an author, back in the time of the great immigration, to tell stories of the loved ones who came to this country. Parts of the book are dark, but I love the realism of it, and the truth that too often get’s seen through the rosy glasses of Christian prairie romances. Stories of children dying on the wagon trail, and mothers clinging to their child grave with a body still slightly warm inside. The mother would then have to be tied to the wagon, so as not to be left behind from the caravan, and often went insane with grief. No, I think losing a child back then was just as devastating as it is today. I don’t think that they just shrugged their shoulders after a good cry and went on with it. I think some of the early settlers went on because their bodies continued to breathe. It’s no wonder that God was so real to them, because to survive losing 4 children like that would require supernatural grace! I’m sorry, I digress into a discussion on death. It’s hard not to after spending the afternoon chasing the kids through a graveyard.

The cemetery is so well kept, and I love driving by it on the way to our house. In fact, we can see it from our house…or on days like today, we see our house from it. Although it’s only 1/2 mile, I’m ashamed to say we drove. It had rained a bit, and we had to carry some chairs. Plus we were afraid if the kids melted down and we needed a fast getaway, we’d be dragging them 1/2 mile screaming home.

After the service there was a “small lunch” which on the farm doesn’t mean noon meal. Think “afternoon tea” or in our case “afternoon coffee”. Out here the noon meal is called “dinner” and the evening meal is called “supper” and “lunch” is a little snack you have in between. It took me quite awhile to catch onto their terms out here! Where I’m from, lunch is the noon meal, supper is the evening meal, and dinner is a fancy meal! There were cookies and coffee, a traditional pudding we’d never had before, as well as enough lefse for everyone! I have to say, it was the best cemetery party I’ve ever been to!