Mom Worries

I don’t know of a mom that doesn’t worry. I firmly believe that worries can be remedied with prayer, but I have yet to figure out a way to keep them from starting in the first place.

I think one of the hardest job as a mom, or as a parent for that matter, is constantly second guessing yourself in what you should be doing. I wonder sometimes, if it always used to be that way. These days there are libraries of books on parenting, and each one having a different theory, and offer different methods. I think, too, that there’s a need for so many books, because there are so many different kinds of kids! There is no one size fits all!

As we are dealing with 3 now, I’ve learned more to take from the books what I want, and leave what doesn’t apply. I’ve learned to trust my instincts, and do what I think is best, and not some psychologist working on case studies, or even how the culture dictates we should raise our children.

There are times, though, when we doubt our instincts. I see myself as somewhat laid back, and Elias, is definitely laid back, and I’m starting to realize, the the 2 of us together are getting nothing done.

I got a call today from the public health nurse in our county. I signed up for a service where I fill out a questionnaire every few months saying what he can developmentally do and not do, and they put that into their database, and usually say “thanks for your data.” Today, though I got a call regarding the last questionnaire that they received back from me. Elias is not where he should be.

He’s getting better at walking everyday, and so we both agreed that we needed to work with him on that more, and he is likely delayed in this because of his 2 hospitalizations since birth. You wouldn’t even imagine how just a few days in the hospital can set a baby back developmentally. His fine motor skills are far greater developmentally than his gross motor, and she thinks that could easily be due to his health issues these last 16 months, as he can play with things with his fingers easier than he can move his whole body around.

What she was concerned about was his communication skills. He’s not talking as much as he should be, and barely says any words at all. He loves to say “Dada” and every once in awhile we’ll hear him say “ba” for ball and “Da” for David and “Yaya” for Silje. Today he’s been reaching out his hands to me and saying “Peas” for please. All of those besides “Dada” aren’t consistent, though.

It seems as though Elias has had the triple threat of being a little bit preemie, having a few hospital stays, (which is figured into their data, as I said, it does set them back) and being completely catered to by his siblings and parents. We all talk for him, and so he sees very little use for words. He does babble quite a lot, but doesn’t say much of anything recognizable.

So in a month in a half, at his next check up, I’m supposed to bring this up with our doctor, again, and see if he is concerned. Last time we talked about it, he called it “third child’s syndrome” 😉 but he did say we should keep an eye on it. The public health nurse thinks that some speech therapy may be needed for him before he gets to preschool/kindergarten.

About 90% of me says: Elias is just Elias. He’s laid back, and a man of few words. That’s just who he is, and we should just leave him be. The other 10% wonders if he’s not getting something, or if there is some sort of issue with him that needs to be dealt with. It is good and right for parents to push their children to be their best.

I appreciate the heads up from the public health nurse, that we should be working more with language with Elias as he scored so low on that portion of the developmental survey, but it’s so hard to do something about it, and not worry. Because we moms worry.