A Story About Poop

I’m going to forget for a moment that this is probably a permanent record, and when David is, let’s say 14, his friends will be able to look this up and make fun of him. Let’s just forget about it for just a minute as I tell this story about tonight. About 10pm, David got out of bed to use the bathroom. Since he likes to come out of bed and doesn’t use the bathroom sometimes, Knut headed upstairs to make sure he was on task. When I arrived at the scene, David was sitting on the toilet, going poopy.

“Look” he told Knut as he pointed at his straining neck. “When my neck looks like this, that means the poopy is almost out!” Knut was laughing at this comment, and I told him that since I was already upstairs I would finish up with David, so Knut could go back and finish the news.

I watched the second hand move about 5 times around the clock above the toilet and David is still sitting there. Then I got the idea that maybe I could get David’s obsession with race cars and all things fast to move him along.

“David, is your poopy fast poopy?” I asked him, using the same tone he uses when describing a race.
“No,” David said sadly. “This is a slow poopy.” Then with a tired glaze in his eyes, he looked at his finger, as if it were poop coming out. “When it’s fast poopy, I call it RACING POOPY!” And then he raced the “poopy” (his finger) all around his head as if were a plane or car as he waited on the toilet.
Yes, I do have a little boy who could be described as “all boy.”