I’m reading a book off my bookshelf this week that I bought ages ago when I heard the author speak at an event, with the best of intentions, but have never read yet. Susie Larson is incredibly inspiring, and I feel like I’m gaining some clarity on some things I’ve been praying about for over a year through reading this. I think I’ve been focusing too big. I’m realizing that I need to focus on the small. I need to focus on the quality and service in the small things, and with the small people. I think that’s what I have been doing, but I see others doing big things, and I wonder if I’m missing something, or doing something wrong because everything in my life is small. My self-doubt and self-criticism kicks in when it is all small.
We all have dreams, and we all have aspirations. I realized that I was concentrating on things I often criticize the Church for doing. I want to be flashy and noticed and smart. The model Christ sets for us is so much more simple. It’s base level simple. Getting off his seat in heaven he came to us. Seeing a need, he humbles himself and washes feet like the lowliest of servants. He is so assured of who he is, that nothing was below him. His identity was so secure that no job could debase it. I think his disciples were annoyed how much he talked about humility. I think they were always thinking of the next level, and he was always pushing the fundamentals. Sometimes the hardest areas to walk in obedience are the areas of the small.
Anyway, I’m gaining some clarity I have been seeking for a few years. I have been patiently waiting for God to show me the next step, and in this book, I see it so loud and clear: go lower. Be smaller. Be faithful in the small, unflashy, unnoticed things. Cultivate those deep, few friendships and stop having these popularity goals for my blog. Value the sweet readers I have and give them the best I have, and stop reaching for more. It’s not that I wouldn’t like more readers, it’s that my quest for them is distracting, and I have no time for that in my life right now.
There’s actually some very long stories behind these thoughts, but this book couldn’t have come at a more opportune time. I wonder if I would have gotten this clarity months ago when I bought this book, or if God was saving it for just this time. Either way, I’m thankful.
_________
My knitting is coming along nicely. I knew it was the perfect summer project, and I was right. It’s a gift for a friend of mine in ministry, who I feel needs some extra arms wrapped around her. Since she is so far away from me, I thought I’d wrap my arms around here in the form of yarn. I hope she likes it. Project notes can be found here. I’m calling this project “Miss Rumphius.” (not my pattern, but I do like to name my projects. Naming is fun.) That name is based off of a character in a children’s picture book, about a woman who scatters wildflower seeds at the end of her life, so that beauty can be found after she is gone. It’s a book that ask the question: what kind of mark are you leaving on this world?”
Mom says
May 6, 2015 at 3:20 pmGod’s timing is always perfect!
Donna says
May 6, 2015 at 3:42 pmWhat a wonderful idea – a hug from afar. That’s a question to always keep in my mind: “what kind of mark am I leaving on this world?”. Thanks for the inspiration.
harknessangels says
May 6, 2015 at 6:43 pmWhat a lovely hug for your friend. Oh to live closer and have a cup of something hot and talk about what God is speaking to you…He is speaking the same to me as well.
Becki says
May 6, 2015 at 9:45 pmGretchen, thank you for sharing about what you’re reading. And learning. Be smaller. I’m in a season of change and small is all there is at the moment and flashy and big looks so appealing.
You have a beautiful family. And I’ve enjoy exploring your blog – having found it recently on Ginny’s Yarn Along. I’ll look forward to stopping in more.
Melody Walker says
May 6, 2015 at 10:01 pmWonderful post! Thank you for sharing, your honesty and insight is refreshing. I have been going through a similar journey in my life. I use to worry and plan the joy out of life, until I got cancer. The last few years have been a painful messy beautiful process of moving my life toward simplicity, and loving well. I’m going to look for this book. 🙂
Zena says
May 7, 2015 at 2:55 amI like the sound of this book. Also the yarn is so pretty.
Amber says
May 7, 2015 at 1:33 pmYou’re speaking to my heart, Gretchen! God’s been working on me in the same way, with the same thing.
elizabeth says
May 7, 2015 at 4:16 pmhumility and love are the two parts of the same coin – so I have been told in a letter years ago… so very important… and makes sense… Christ’s self-emptying as St. Paul says in his book to the Philippians ch 2 shows this mind blowing humility -the Creator of the World – the Word of God who spoke our world into being – comes born by one of His creatures! His Humility is what saves us!!!
And he said that the greatest of the Prophets is St. John the Baptist, who teaches us of humility… (He must increase, I decrease)…
I think only if one loves their readers, to change topics, will their blog grow; I always enjoy your blog; I think that we can be distracted by so much…
and our society is not telling Mothers that they are doing one of the MOST IMPORTANT jobs!!!
While much of Mothering can be seen as ‘small’ the consistency and the efforts in raising a child to love Christ, to be at a healthy place of independence and maturity when they grow, that is providing a fundamental part of a stable society.
As things are crumbling around us (families broken, so many kids not even knowing who their fathers are), having an intact marriage and intact family with kids is HUGE.
Kim says
May 7, 2015 at 5:49 pmA small life can actually be a large life. My fours kids are in various stages of adulthood, and seeing the values we lived and taught while raising them in what might be called a small way, continue on in them, the next generation seems big. 🙂 The small people in your life are the most important. 🙂
xoxo