At Peace in the Chaos

Sorry I haven’t had a chance to catch up on here yesterday.  So much has been going on since the start of school this year that I scarcely have time to catch my breath.  This week brings on our new routine, fully with our activities, and so we’ll see how it goes.

The garden has not gotten the memo that school has started.  Yesterday I was out picking green beans, and those darn plants were still flowering.  We will be eating green beans all winter long.  I already have enough to feed it to my family about 4 times a week.  I was throwing the tomatoes into gallon Ziplocs until I had time to skin and can them.  But then I ran out of room, so I’ve been thawing and skinning them in preparation for turning them into sauce and canning them.  I need one more freezer.  Plus, next week we’re getting half a pig from one of our neighbors.  So I really, really need to go through the freezers and make sure they’re packed as efficiently as possible.

You know, in my spare time.  Also, last Sunday morning, as I was getting the kids dressed for church, I found that with the 3 younger kids they had no clothes that fit them.  I had to pull out their hand-me-down boxes/bags from the closet and try to shake out something respectable for them to wear.  It all worked out, but I’ve realized that I need to do a big clothing revamp for 3 of the kids this week too.  Doing one or two kids’ wardrobe is work enough, but 3?  I’ll need at least 2 days for that.

I’ve come this close to just canceling school this week.  We just have no time for it.  We’re doing too much life.  I have decided to drop a few subjects just until the garden is done.

I’ll confess, Sunday morning, I went to church as a total grump, and was annoyed with my children, as is the normal Sunday morning.  I’m not sure what it is about that morning that is just extra hard.  Sunday mornings are a battle, and I don’t mean with my family.  It’s against something unseen.

As always, my time with my church family, and actually listening to the sermon was so refreshing. I was so renewed.  The last song that we sung after communion, though, was God speaking to me in preparation for the week.  It was “Man of Sorrows” and I was so touched by it.

Now my debt is paid
It is paid in full
By the precious blood
That my Jesus spilled

Now the curse of sin
Has no hold on me
Whom the Son sets free
Oh is free indeed!

Then the chorus went:

O that rugged cross
my salvation!
Where your love poured out over me!
Now my soul cries out
Hallelujah
Praise and honour unto Thee.

I was feeling so defeated from the dawning of this week, as I saw all that needed to get done, and how it was physically impossible to do it all.  I wondered which things would drop.  Where would I drop the ball?  When will I fail?  I was so driven by fear.

Fear.  Not faith.

You see, I’ll likely screw up somewhere.  I still sin.  I’m not perfect.

But…

My debt is paid in full.  I’m free.  God does not call us to a life of bondage, but a life of freedom.  That rugged cross completed the work.  My life is just a “Hallelujah” now.

All the feelings of failure, and fear just fell off me and I got that moment of peace where all those things that burdened me, from the tomatoes on my counter, to the curriculum sitting on my dining room table, to the piles of laundry all upstairs…it just didn’t matter.  Not that I shouldn’t do it, but that it doesn’t own me.  It has no power over me.

I feel like it was such an experience, that I cannot possibly describe it accurately.

To turn the conversation and catch you all up on another big thing, Sunday evening we had some new friends over that you’ll probably hear about on the blog over the course of this year.  Knut and my old high school has had such a surge of foreign students living in their dorms.  When we went there they had about 20-30 Norwegian students, and 3-4 Japanese students.  Now, they have students from Norway, Japan, Vietnam, South Korea, China, Taiwan…and on and on and on.  Word on this tiny high school in this tiny town that offers boarding to students has gotten out in the international level.

Anyway, Knut and I were asked if we could volunteer this year to “adopt” 2 students into our family for the year.  The main purpose is to provide them a break from the dorms.  I used to live in those same dorms, so I know the need to just get away!  We’ll be the people who bring them to the doctor, or to the airport.  We’ll open up our home during the holidays, and have them over on some weekends just to rest.

So we were assigned 2 girls, who go by their American nick names of “Lulu” and “Tiffany.”  Lulu is a senior from Shanghai, and is an accomplished sword fencer on a competitive level.  Tiffany is a junior from Taiwan, and is obsessed with playing with kids, and I think was assigned to our family for that reason.  🙂  This is the 2nd year at this school for both of the girls, and the 1st year the school is doing this “family” program.

So Sunday night I made them sticky rice, and ginger shrimp dumplings, and “Chinese marinated” salmon.  I never really make Chinese food, and it was all a vast experiment, so I was worried it wasn’t very good.  I knew I didn’t have to make them Chinese food, but I knew that they weren’t getting it in the dorm, and I wanted to set up my house as a place of “rest” for them.  They took second and third helpings, so it must not have been too bad.  I was worried about our family taking on one more thing, but I felt so strongly that this was something we were supposed to do.  I’m so glad we said yes, because these girls weren’t “work” at all to have around.  They are just delightful, and our kids adore them already.  I think I got more rest having them here than not.

So we have plans in 2 weeks to take them along with our family when we go to the zoo.  I’ve been suggesting all sorts of get togethers with them.  Sometimes they just look at the ground, or slowly nod politely when I suggest things.  Other times I suggest something, and their faces light up and say “yes that!  Let’s to that!”  The zoo was one of those light-up suggestions, so we’ll do that one.

They both speak English very well, but they offered to help the kids with their Chinese anyway, as my kids have been going through the Rosetta Stone program (very slowly…) the last few years in our homeschool.  We are perfectly matched.

So hopefully we’re all caught up.  Well a little.  Today I have to put on the chauffeur hat and take the kids to speech class and 3 different choir practices as the 3 older kids are divided up by age.  It’s our activity day.  Also I have to can a bunch of tomatoes, and find some clothes for people to wear.  You know…that’s all.  🙂  As I’ve said before, whoever put the “home” in “homeschool” was l.y.i.n.g.  Let’s just call it “familyschool” since it happens within the family, all over the place.  I think I like that better.