This TV-free June that I proclaimed about 10 days ago has been taking a toll on me, friends. I’m struggling to write, or have any moment of peace for that matter. In the past when we took some time away from television, I immediately am grateful for the time away. This time I think we were in deeper. I had a lot of projects anticipated for this month, before the garden harvests started taking over and I’m seeing that nothing will get done this month besides doing some overdue training with my 2 younger daughters.
I had a lightbulb moment recently, as to the reason the house has been so crazy. When the little girls get clingy and whiny, while I’m in the middle of cooking something in the kitchen or whatnot, I call over an older kid to grab them a coloring book, or read them a story, etc. The older kids are usually helpful, but the last few days they have reached their limits with the little girls. At first I thought maybe I was asking them to help too much, but in reality, I’m asking them way less to help out since the t.v. is gone. So that doesn’t make sense.
Then I realized that I had been using my older kids as a bandaid for the bad behavior for my younger kids. The little girls need some training in nice talking, and waiting, and listening. That’s not something older siblings do. So things like knitting, reading, writing, and anything for “me” has gone by the wayside as I’m giving them some focused attention.
All that to say, this has been a very good TV-fast. I’m seeing the reality of the needs in our household quite vividly. My own selfishness is still churning as I’m thinking of all the things I’d rather be doing, which feels awful to admit. I love my kids. I know this is what I want to be doing.
It’s just it would be really fun if I could do what I want to do separate from my kids for maybe an hour or two every once in awhile. I normally plan that in and fervently protect that time. That’s just not happening during this season. Pray for me, because I’m not sure how long I can hold at this pace. I know, though, that this is the way forward.
All that to say, I haven’t moved forward much on the shawl. I am at the ribbed edging now. The chart for the beginning of the edging is intimidating me now, as I have about 600 stitches of a repeating chart that I don’t quite have the rhythm down for yet ahead of me. I’ve tried this 600-stretch now 4 times and I am always interrupted and have to start over. I’ve tried doing it when the kids are in bed, and right around the 400 mark Knut comes home and unknowingly messes me up too with his interruptions. I cannot move forward without getting this new pattern established, and I’m not sure how to get it done.
I have a really fascinating book pile right now that I’d love to show you, that I planned to read this month, but since I’m not reading any of them these days, I’ll show you my favorite cookbook that I’m pulling out for all my meal planning lately. I love this cook book so much I can’t even begin to explain.
I have yet to find a recipe in this book that my whole family doesn’t love. Every single one has been a winner thus far. I love the commentary. I love her writing. I love the pictures. I know I have written about this cookbook before, but it’s worth a revisit. Plus, it’s what I’m reading these days.