This TV-free June that I proclaimed about 10 days ago has been taking a toll on me, friends. I’m struggling to write, or have any moment of peace for that matter. In the past when we took some time away from television, I immediately am grateful for the time away. This time I think we were in deeper. I had a lot of projects anticipated for this month, before the garden harvests started taking over and I’m seeing that nothing will get done this month besides doing some overdue training with my 2 younger daughters.
I had a lightbulb moment recently, as to the reason the house has been so crazy. When the little girls get clingy and whiny, while I’m in the middle of cooking something in the kitchen or whatnot, I call over an older kid to grab them a coloring book, or read them a story, etc. The older kids are usually helpful, but the last few days they have reached their limits with the little girls. At first I thought maybe I was asking them to help too much, but in reality, I’m asking them way less to help out since the t.v. is gone. So that doesn’t make sense.
Then I realized that I had been using my older kids as a bandaid for the bad behavior for my younger kids. The little girls need some training in nice talking, and waiting, and listening. That’s not something older siblings do. So things like knitting, reading, writing, and anything for “me” has gone by the wayside as I’m giving them some focused attention.
All that to say, this has been a very good TV-fast. I’m seeing the reality of the needs in our household quite vividly. My own selfishness is still churning as I’m thinking of all the things I’d rather be doing, which feels awful to admit. I love my kids. I know this is what I want to be doing.
It’s just it would be really fun if I could do what I want to do separate from my kids for maybe an hour or two every once in awhile. I normally plan that in and fervently protect that time. That’s just not happening during this season. Pray for me, because I’m not sure how long I can hold at this pace. I know, though, that this is the way forward.
All that to say, I haven’t moved forward much on the shawl. I am at the ribbed edging now. The chart for the beginning of the edging is intimidating me now, as I have about 600 stitches of a repeating chart that I don’t quite have the rhythm down for yet ahead of me. I’ve tried this 600-stretch now 4 times and I am always interrupted and have to start over. I’ve tried doing it when the kids are in bed, and right around the 400 mark Knut comes home and unknowingly messes me up too with his interruptions. I cannot move forward without getting this new pattern established, and I’m not sure how to get it done.
I have a really fascinating book pile right now that I’d love to show you, that I planned to read this month, but since I’m not reading any of them these days, I’ll show you my favorite cookbook that I’m pulling out for all my meal planning lately. I love this cook book so much I can’t even begin to explain.
I have yet to find a recipe in this book that my whole family doesn’t love. Every single one has been a winner thus far. I love the commentary. I love her writing. I love the pictures. I know I have written about this cookbook before, but it’s worth a revisit. Plus, it’s what I’m reading these days.
mary louise says
June 10, 2015 at 1:53 pmthe cookbook is awesome! i have bought and made pies using the leaf lard that amy recommends; just great! she did have a cooking show on HGTV last year. it was neat to see her in her own home and garden.
Gretchen says
June 10, 2015 at 1:56 pmThat is a great crust! I don’t have HGTV so I’ve never seen her show, but based on my obsession with this cookbook, I bet I’d like it!
Mom says
June 10, 2015 at 2:37 pmI’ll be praying for you, Gretchen. I remember those days well, and I’ll pray that you do get your sanity break on a regular basis. I know the YMCA helps, but you need more than that. Hang in there! God is faithful to meet all of our needs, even this one. 🙂
Gretchen says
June 11, 2015 at 5:05 pmThanks for all your encouragement and prayers Mom!
Elizabeth says
June 10, 2015 at 7:51 pmI am reading this small book called ‘Growing in Christ, Shaped in His Image’ by a plain-talking -strait-shooting Abbess named Mother Raphaela and she talked about how if our identities are only found in our ‘me time’ and we are Christians who have a family, that this will lead to only frustration and worse. She talks of how Christians are called to lay down their lives for others and that the abundant life in Christ will come only this way. I’ve been pondering this ever since I read it!!! Having taken care of children and being an introvert, I know how hard it is; I think the key is to lean on Christ and ask for His help in everything, even when the ‘me time’ is in short supply. Will pray for you about this, not easy. That cookbook sounds wonderful!!!
Gretchen says
June 11, 2015 at 5:05 pmOh that is so good! What a great word of encouragement. I’ll have to check that out.
Julie says
June 11, 2015 at 3:26 amYou are not alone in this! This is just what I needed to read. My littlest guy is in a negative-attention-getting spiral, and I’m worried that it’s shaping his character in the wrong way. So yes, we are also working with him. I give you a lot of credit for tv-free and can’t wait to hear your continued thoughts on it. Honestly, I have found myself using it for my 4 year-old’s self-regulation skills which cannot end well. I will pray for you!
Gretchen says
June 11, 2015 at 5:06 pmThat’s a hard spiral to get off! It requires digging deep and being proactive all the time when you are so tired. We’re all in this together!
Sarah says
June 11, 2015 at 7:00 pmWe have cut back on TV with the arrival of warm weather but my two year old has no interest in more than 5 minutes anyway so it hasn’t really negatively impacted my life too much since she is hard all the time, TV or no. Lots of obedience-teaching happening here this week too. Sigh. Tired. Why does daddy work such long hours in the summer?
I have kept my eye out for that cookbook to flip through it since you first wrote about it, but it just occurred to me to see if our library has it – it does! Hold now placed! Excited to see if it is worth adding to my (overly extensive) cookbook collection. (In the time it took me to write this quick comment, I had to empty the potty chair, discipline for whining, delete a bunch of extra characters after she leaned on the keyboard fussing…. you get the picture because you’re probably in the same place! Solidarity and strength and a little prayer said for you before I close this window!)