Like my Autumn fireplace display this year? I do. It makes the whole room feel fallish.
The running joke around the house these days is how much I’m nesting. I feel like I’m cleaning all the time, or trying to get the kids to clean all the time. Yesterday was a bit hectic as we had choir and chess club, and errands to run in town in the afternoon. So in the morning, I had to decide if we would do school, or if I would clean. Yesterday I chose school. It’s amazing how messy the house gets when I don’t constantly clean for 3-4 hours in the morning. Even that short amount of time of letting the little kids play while the older kids do school undoes so much work. It’s quite astonishing.
Today I think we’ll recover the house from the disaster it became in a matter of hours yesterday. I think when I’m pregnant, there are always big projects that I get set in my mind just MUST be done before the baby is born. I stress over it, and drive everyone in my house crazy until said project is done. At first it was the upstairs bathroom. That is complete except Knut still has some towel hooks to hang up when harvest is over, and I think the light fixture might get a makeover. As this project got done so timely, my mind has moved on.
Now I’m obsessed with the girls’ room. I have some major storage issues going on in there, and it’s not pretty. Silje has one very small dresser, and that’s it. It holds socks and tights and underclothes for the girls, and Silje’s p.j.’s. That’s it. The rest of Silje’s clothes folded on closet shelves or hung up. Solveig’s clothes are stacked on another shelf, which gets tricky when you’re dealing with those tiny little shirts and sweaters that like to tumble over.
When Silje grows out of something, I’ve just been shoving it (literally) onto an empty shelf, and now I have about size 3T-6 clothes all mixed together and shoved in no method whatsoever to all the corners of her closet. There are no more shelves for the new baby’s clothes. There is no more space for anymore of Silje’s too-small clothes. The floor is starting to clutter. We need a good sized dresser. We need some storage. This must get done before the baby comes. It’s my new obsession.
My quest for a decent used dresser is not going well, so as I try to be patient, I’ve turned my thoughts to the rest of the girls’ room, and to Silje. She’s been on my mind a lot lately.
Everything with her is new for me. She’s entering a new stage that is so foreign, and I feel a bit lost. A new baby coming? I can handle it. My little Silje turning tweenish? I have no idea. I’ve been sensing some withdrawal from her. I’ve been sensing a frustration in her work and play. I’ve been praying for a way to reach her heart, and for her to know that I see her. When it feels like I’m always just giving her another job to do, and when I have to deal with a whiny toddler, or a sick baby when we were supposed to have our tea party. I get that she is disappointed that I turn down some activities that she wants to be in because it’s during her younger siblings’ nap, and therefore won’t work. We skip naps about once a week for activities, but I hesitate to do more.
I don’t want to victimize her. She doesn’t have it rough, and I won’t give in to thinking that, or letting her think that. She has quite a few privileges, and in my opinion, a very blessed little girl. My intent is not to feel sorry for her. However, I want her to know I see her struggles. I see she’s growing up, and it’s something I’m delighted over. I want to show her I’m excited about the lady she’s becoming, and I appreciate her obedience when I know sometimes it’s hard. I see her character, and I appreciate it.
I know one of her major struggles is keeping her room clean. I can relate. She has trouble throwing anything away and loves collecting things. Every surface in her room is covered with stuff, to the point where you walk past anything and stuff starts falling. She tries to clean it every day, and every day it gets terrible again, without much effort.
The plan is to redo this room for the boys in a year or two, and repaint the boys’ room for the girls. The boys’ room is bigger, and will fit 3 girls better than 2 boys. Until then, I think what her room might need is a makeover.
I proposed the idea that I do a makeover on her room. I knew she had trouble getting rid of stuff, so I asked her permission if I could do the makeover when she was not in the house. We planned a special date with Grandma for this event. I told her that I would go through her things and take away a lot of the clutter, and replace it with some fun new things.
When I brought up new things, she was all on board. I told her I was just going to make space. I said everything that I removed from the room would go into a box for 6 months for safe keeping. If she missed any of it, she could simply ask for it (specifically…not just get the whole box). However, if she wanted anything in the box back, she would have to give back one of the new things so that she doesn’t just have a clutter problem again. She’s totally on board.
She’s at the age where pink is baby-ish and purple is cool. When I asked how she would like to see her room a few weeks ago, and it was “Purple!” She also wanted lots of zebra print and bright colors. She didn’t want a single stuffed or ceramic kitten removed from her room, as that is her favorite collection.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve been slowly collecting things. I’ve scoured ebay, craigslist, Target clearance, Hobby Lobby, Goodwill, etc. I’m really excited about her seeing it all come together for her.
Last night we went through all of her clothes together, and took out everything that she just hates. She’s getting to the age where I buy her clothes and they never get worn because I have no idea what her “style” is. We cut her pile of clothes in half and she was really excited with the extra space on her shelves. I asked her a lot about what her style was, so I could keep that in mind more when we shop. She was so excited to talk about it. We talked a bit about modesty, which isn’t a huge problem yet. We talked more about what types of clothes look good on her, and which colors suit her best. She was so animated and excited the whole conversation to talk this all out.
I removed all of the 3T-6 size mess to my room to go through and sort and organize before the big makeover day. I know tubs won’t work in this closet like it works in the boys’. Silje suggested vacuum (compressed) bags, and I think it might work. I hadn’t thought of that, but I think it’s a good idea.
We then talked more about the style of the room. I told her a bit more about what the room transformation was going to involve. I didn’t show her anything, but we just talked about some of the things she does in the room, some things she’d be more than willing to part with, and we just talked about growing up. Letting go of the baby toys, and making space for the toys we use.
It was the conversation for which I’ve been praying for weeks. It’s not the room, or the clutter, or the mess that’s truly been on my heart. She opened up to me and really talked for the first time in awhile, and I could see in her eyes that her heart was fed. I was walking on clouds for awhile over that. I felt that especially before a new baby comes, and I’m distracted and have a lot on my plate, I needed to connect with her and let her know I saw she was growing up. I saw her frustrations. I may be busy, but I still see.
The makeover is planned for this weekend. I’ll have to post the final results. It’s not the shabby-chic style that I’ve always decorated her room in the past. It’s moving up to bold, flashy, “tween” which is the category that my online searches tell me is the style I’m looking for. “Tween” is such a weird word. I don’t really like it. Apparently online shops have it as a category, though. It’s certainly not my style. I love where we’re going with it, though. I love that she’s embracing this makeover, and I hope to be relieving some burden off of her.
Moving forward in this direction of growing up is a scary, but very exciting place place to be.
tiffany says
September 26, 2012 at 4:52 pmGreat post! I can entirely relate with this as my girls are getting to this stage as well. I understand the trickiness of the little ones and the delicate balance that is eternally elusive. We did a bedroom makeover and room swap in our home a month ago and what a differece it has made. I wil pray blessing over this transition.
I will be excited to see the new room!
Tiffany
Mom says
September 26, 2012 at 5:28 pmGreat post and great conversation yesterday about the same topic. Looking forward to seeing the end result. I hope you can get your additional dresser soon as well!
Sheila says
September 26, 2012 at 6:32 pmI did the same thing for Emily …it was hard to pack away the pink and girly and go with the bold colors….but she loves it. The other thing she was happy about….I removed her bedspread.
I put a fitted sheet on her box spring and of course on her mattress….now she only has her quilt on her bed and making it takes seconds. The bedspread stays nice and neat in the linen closet….until the room needs to be used for guests. 🙂
She started hanging pictures on the wall with double stick tape. I wasn’t a fan….but she enjoys her wall of memories. I just hope it isn’t a big mess when it all has to come down in a year…but that information will be saved for an upcoming blog post. 🙂
Kristin says
September 26, 2012 at 6:38 pmWill you come have this conversation with my 7 year old daughter please? She has major issues with clutter and holding on to too much, and her room is always a problem. As many times as we have gone through and purged, it always seems to accumulate so quickly again. It drives my husband and I crazy!
I’m excited to see your “after” pictures. Maybe I will need to use this same technique.