Last night I got into the dangerous mind game of comparison. After the kids were in bed, and I was just goofing off on the computer looking at stuff, I found myself on some blogs of knitting designers that I admire. I’m always astonished how fast they get designs out. It shouldn’t be surprising because the ones I was looking at design full time. They have staff. Well, not a large staff, but 1 or 2 people who help write the patterns or knit up the samples.
I look at their published books with envy, and my mind wanders down that road just a moment.
Discontentment sinks in.
My life is so different from theirs. My life is full of diapers, and making meals and swimming lessons, and homeschooling. I knit in the downtime throughout the day, or watching movies with Knut at night. I write patterns in the evening when Knut is at a meeting or doing his own thing. I enjoy it, therefore it gets done. I’m not in a place to do what they do, and if I were to make that life happen right now, I would miss my kids terribly. Those are the real facts.
I heard the other day from someone that someone was reading my blog and felt bad that she couldn’t get done all that I got done. When I heard that, I chuckled because I have often been envious of her, and here she was envious of me.
It’s a grand distraction of the devil isn’t it? Showing us the grass on the other side of the fence? We all make choices, hopefully guided by God, and those choices are often different. Someone may envy the fact that we have chickens, and I may envy the fact that they live 2 blocks from the library. Someone may envy that I get to stay at home, and here I am envying some women who work outside the home full time.
We can’t have it all. I just doesn’t work that way. We can have God’s best for us, and often we do if we would just sit a moment and notice it.
I’m so blessed with my 4 children. Each one brings a smile to my face at the mere thought of them.
I’m so blessed to be able to be a stay at home mom. Not only that, I’m so blessed with a husband who is determined in an old fashioned way to provide for our family. It doesn’t matter if the kids are at home or not. He doesn’t care if I work, or sell, as long as I enjoy it. I know this isn’t always possible, and I know some women don’t desire it. I don’t mean to hold it up as “I’m way better than women who provide for their families.” I just feel so grateful that our situation is just as I would have it. It’s what I’d pick.
I’m so blessed by Knut. He gives me so much sanity and encouragement.
As said in my last post, I’m so grateful to my friends. There were a few years when we first moved here from the city and I felt I had no one to call when I needed a friend. Those were lonely times for us as we readjusted to a new community. I’m grateful that now I have to pick who I call first.
I’m blessed to be able to be artistic in my own way, even though I can’t do it full time. So far it has not taken over our household, and I’ve been able to carve away bits of “me” time to do this here and there.
I’m so blessed with our life, and even though it’s so easy to peek over our neighbor’s fence and see what their life is like, I remember that when I do that I only see the nicely groomed lawns and not inside where all their mess is. So if you ever read this, and find yourself having a twinge of jealousy, just remember I don’t post pictures of my life’s closets on here either…or at least not most of the time.
If you’d like to join me in counting the ways God has blessed you, you can either leave a comment, so you can bless others, or if you feel so inclined, write up your own blog post about how God has blessed you, link back to this blog, and drop the link to your post below. They’re really fun to read.